It's Just Trash
by KSipesh
Summary: The companion piece to Candy Wrapper. The same story, but told from Vincent's point of view. Please read Candy Wrapper first, to recieve all the proper warnings and such.
1. Chapter 1

The companion piece to _Candy Wrapper_. The same story, but told from Vincent's point of view. You would do well to read _Candy Wrapper_ first, I think. That way, you can get all the appropriate warnings regarding this tale...

It's Just Trash

Chapter 1

I had spent nearly the last three decades suspended between death and life, unconscious but aware. Caught in nightmares-- never ending nightmares. Yet, those visions I suffered while in repose were nothing compared to what I had actually lived through, what I had witnessed prior to being thrown into that God foresaken box. My body had been rended, dismantled like a machine and put back together. I had watched the only woman that I had, even at the age of twenty-seven, ever fallen in love with suffer a piteous fate and die, sacrificing herself upon the alter of science. She had lost her life for the love of her job and the fact that I had been too weak, not man enough to do what I should have done.

That was my sin, my burden-- the reason why I knew that I deserved to rot there in what amounted to little more than a coffin. However, I didn't rot, I didn't die. I was merely frozen in time, languishing within my mind as my body was trapped in the moment I'd been put in there. Hojo had obviously had some intent in placing me into suspended animation but as to what it was, I've never been able to quite figure out.

Nor would I get the chance to ask him. He was dead now. The final disposal of that wretched man had been just one more step on the way to finding the Planet's salvation.

Yes, I was taking part in the Planet's salvation. Helping a world that had long ago forgotten me. A world that I was little more than an obsolete relic to. Hojo had made that my fate-- to live in a world that was both familiar but completely alien and unable to accept me. Maybe that had been his intent, maybe that had been his final blow to my dignity.

Had I been glad to see him die? I wouldn't say I took particular pleasure in his death, but rather a sense of closure. When I walked up to his twitching body, after the last of his strength had failed him, I didn't smile. I didn't smile when I raised my gun to make my kill shot, and I didn't smile when I pulled the trigger, placing a lone bullet between his eyes.

I didn't smile because I don't. I just don't. There was little reason for me to do so. The damage had already been done. Nothing was righted with his annihilation. There would just be no more evil begotten by him.

Since being awakened three weeks ago, quite by accident, I've remained with AVALANCHE as they carried out their mission. Being that I alone was responsible for this entire situation, I felt it my obligation to go with them. I quickly came to understand that my…quirks…drove a wedge between the members of the group and I. There was a constant need on their part to taunt me. Harassing me somehow seemed to become their favorite pass time, and I let them. I didn't care one way or another. I didn't deserve to be treated any better.

The ringleader of this abuse was the pilot, Cid Highwind. His crude and often profane persona lent itself well to such activity. Daily, I was tormented by him. Generally, his derision consisted mainly of gibes toward his perception of me being something of a vampire. There were always threats on his part to taint my food with garlic, or to drive a stake through my heart whilst I slept. For the most part, I let these comments slide. I was not giving him the satisfaction of any real reaction, other than the one time that I quietly informed him that if he did attempt to near me as I slept, that I would gladly rip out his throat with my teeth and taste his blood just to humor him-- if he were so inclined to try.

However, one of the group seemed unwilling to join the others in their collective abuse of me. Her name was Tifa, and she'd caught my eye from the moment I'd been liberated from that stasis box. She possessed a certain youthful beauty to her, an innocence that appealed to me, and innocence that I knew I must never sully with my…touch. I didn't think this would be an issue in the long run. She seemed afraid of me on some level, and I didn't believe that she would ever have any interest in me anyway. How anyone could find anything appealing about me was a concept far beyond my grasp.

Besides, Cloud would never have let her near me. He was fiercely protective of her, indicating to me that they were involved. They had apparently known one another their entire lives. Surely they were invested heavily in each other.

I wore the burden of my past like a shell, and I wouldn't let anyone through. My resolve on that matter was solid.

But not as solid as I had hoped. Tifa showed me that.

At night, after the ship had quieted down for the day, I had begun a habit of going up to the deck of the airship to enjoy the night and to reflect on how I'd arrived in my present situation. No one ever dared to disturb me during those times as people had, at least, the good sense to give me my space after dark.

Hence, I was confused when I heard the door up to the deck open although it was well past the time when everyone turned in for the night. I gave passing thought to the idea that I should have locked it, but I hadn't. From the steps behind me, I knew without looking that it was Tifa. I was immediately curious to see what she wanted, but I was frozen in place, not certain of what I should do. I opted to let her come to me and let me know. Soon, she was leaning against the railing, close to my left side.

I waited for her to do or say something for several moments. Then, she held something toward me and I glanced down, seeing a candy bar in her right hand. Moreover, it was the same kind that I had a small propensity for having whenever I got the chance. Either it was dumb luck on her part that she had managed to find this particular and somewhat obscure brand to give to me or she'd gotten it on purpose. Maybe she had honestly noticed. The fact that she may have cared enough to take note of my favorite candy would have been touching, had I believed it more than just a coincidence.

I looked into her dark eyes, searching for her intent. I needed to know what she had in mind and why she was here.

Tifa stared back at me, and the smallest of smiles came to her lips. "It's for you."

I considered her for a few more seconds, letting my head fall a little to the side. I didn't think that she was here to tease me like the others, but still, I couldn't figure out what she did want. I reached out slowly toward the candy bar, as the thought of having it was appealing-- very appealing. Resolving that she wasn't going to pull it back out of my grasp, I went ahead and claimed it.

I faced back out toward the night once more and hooked one of the talons of my left hand through the wrapper, opening it. As I got to the task of eating it, I noticed that she had produced a second and was having one as well.

When she finished hers, and she did so first as I take the time to savor anything chocolate, she crumpled up her wrapper and stuffed it into her right pocket. When I did finish mine, I let go of the wrapper, allowing it flutter away from my hand upon the breeze. Tifa, for whatever reason, reached out with amazing speed and neatly plucked the wrapper from the air. She was fast, unbelievably fast-- possibly even as fast as I. I couldn't help but turn and look at her.

Tifa put my wrapper in her pocket, this time her left one I noticed, and she said quietly, "We're trying to save the world, not make it a bigger mess."

That's when I felt it-- for the first time since awakening, I felt a smile play upon my lips. This was hidden from her, courtesy of my cloak's collar. For this, I was glad. I wasn't sure I wanted anyone, even Tifa to see that I had feelings.

Yet, she knew and smiled in return, her eyes shining up at me. I could see something in Tifa's expression, and it hinted at her pleasure at me having accepted her offering and having eaten it here in her presence.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

Her countenance changed as she heard this lone word from me. Even though I had simply expressed my appreciation for the candy, she was somehow able to get a lot more from that mere word. I realized that Tifa was looking right into me, and that was something that I was far from accustomed to.

After hesitating for a moment, she replied. "No problem."

I was fascinated by her. I've already admitted that I had a particular attraction to Tifa, and now with her here with me, I let my mind wander, giving play to the idea of something perhaps happening between she and I. I smiled again before turning back to look at the night sky. "You're the only one, you know."

I felt her eyes still lingering upon me. "The only one?"

I sighed and rose to my full height, no longer leaning upon the railing. I turned and looked down at her, appreciating how small and delicate she seemed at that moment. I spoke gently, not wanting to frighten her. "The only one who's made any effort to do anything in regards to me beyond trying to piss me off."

She nodded a little, and a frown tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I'm sorry about all of that."

Why she would accept the blame for the shortcomings of the others was beyond me. "Why should you be? You've done nothing," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.

I noticed that her eyes were drawn to something and I looked down, seeing that the front of my cloak was parted a little, exposing part of my left arm. The fact that she was staring at it immediately reminded me that I wasn't normal anymore. I didn't want her looking at me, thinking me to be a freak even if I was. I pulled my cloak around me, cutting off her view of my mechanical limb.

"No, Vincent, it's okay," she said gently, daring to reach out. Tifa's hand slipped beneath the fabric until I felt her fingers land upon my left arm. That had taken a considerable amount of bravery on her part. To reward her courage, I didn't pull away as I would have done at the touch of anyone else…not that I wanted to. This contact meant far more to me than she could have ever possibly known.

Her grip upon my forearm tightened, and she pulled, indicating that I should let her see this part of me. I gave in, letting her draw my left arm from beneath my cloak.

She looked up at me, making sure that I was all right with her examination. I gave her a slight nod, inviting her to study my arm to her heart's content.

Tifa tentatively brought up her free hand and placed it around my left wrist, while her other moved to support my arm from beneath. Her eyes narrowed in her fascination and she turned my wrist first one direction, and then the other, checking me from all angles.

I couldn't help but wonder if her interest in me was based merely on my oddity, or if she had other compulsions driving her to make such contact with me. Wanting to gauge her reaction, I allowed the fingers of my left hand to slowly close round the wrist of her hand that was holding my own.

Tifa didn't flinch or pull away. In fact, she remained completely still, her eyes fixed upon our joined hands. There was no repulsion in her expression, no fear to be found. How she could possibly be willing to let me touch her at all wasn't something I understood, but I was grateful for-- immensely grateful for.

The story of Beauty and the Beast crossed my mind, making me feel instantly contemplative. I wondered exactly what she wanted from me.

"It's okay," she repeated gently, before turning her eyes back up toward me.

I was too confused at the moment to give any real response, and I just looked back at her.

Her expression fell. "Do you want me to let go?"

_I'd prefer that you never let go, _I thought silently, thinking that I'd never have a beautiful woman willing to touch me again. "No, not yet."

I began to look upon our hands again, dwelling on the significance of what was happening. Not only was she treating me like a normal human being, but her touch was letting me appreciate something about my cybernetic arm that I'd been previously unable to notice. "I can actually feel you touch me. I was aware that I had sensation from it, but not on this level. You're warm, I can actually feel that you're _warm_."

She gazed into my eyes again. "Really?'

I damn near laughed. Not only had she made me smile for the first time in thirty years, but she almost made me laugh with her innocent tone. "Really."

"Oh…" Tifa remained locked in my eyes, her expression softening. She was accepting me. Perhaps it was just a momentary thing-- maybe it was only for tonight, but she was honestly accepting me. I wondered exactly how far she was willing to take this.

I brought my right hand up and grabbed the collar of my cloak. I pulled it downward. Initially, I simply did this as my anxiety over the situation was making me feel smothered, but then I knew that I was mainly doing it because I wanted to see how she would react upon getting an honest look at me. I kept my expression placid, wanting her to respond out of her own reaction, not some reflection of my feelings.

I'd never considered myself particularly attractive. I was thin and had been an awkward teenager-- ridiculed by females my age back then. Those years had left an impression upon me, destroying my self-confidence I suppose. The typical angsty high school drama, I'm afraid. Now, being faced with a female like Tifa, one who's league I was clearly out of, all of my old doubts surfaced and I wondered when she would break eye contact or pull away. She didn't though, and that had me perplexed.

I just took in everything about her that I could as we stared at one another. Her eyes were a deep amber and they absolutely shone with her vibrance. Tifa's hair was impossibly long, tied back and blowing behind her in the faint breeze that was coming over the deck. I found myself fixated on her lips, graced as they were with a neutral gloss, and parted slightly as if there were questions upon her tongue that refused to be given voice. I wanted to know what they felt like. God, I wanted to know what they felt like.

I knew what I wanted. The choice was hers.

Her right hand came up between us and she placed it against my cheek. I couldn't help but close my eyes at the sensation that ran through my body from this touch and I turned my head, allowing my mouth to come in contact with her hand. Rarely had my lips ever made contact with another human being, and doing so with Tifa, even if it just was her hand, made something within me stir.

When her hand finally moved away, I looked back into her eyes, waiting for some sign from her. I knew that there was no way she was seeking any sort of relationship with me, but if she was seeking just some sort of momentary diversion from our mission…I might be swayed, even if I had no experience to offer.

"Vincent?" she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

I moved closer to her, awaiting her question.

"Wh…what's happening?" The look on her face was indicative of her uncertainty.

I stared down at where our hands were still clasped together, realizing my error. Had I honestly set myself up with any hopes or expectations about the situation, I may have been disappointed, but I'd known better. Yet, I wasn't willing to just walk away. I tightened my grip that I had upon her wrist.

As I did this, I noticed her catch her breath. She sighed in a way that got my attention. I could have been wrong after all. Maybe she was wanting more from me. That simple idea brought yet another of those rare smiles to my lips.

Her hand once more came to my face, this time going beneath my chin, indicating that she wanted me to look at her, and so I did.

Tifa took a step closer to me, and her body made its first cautious contact with mine. She placed my left arm behind her back, not deterred from having it touch her even though it was hideous and unnatural.

If she was willing to make that sort of gesture toward me, then I suspected I might have her permission to kiss her. I moved toward her slowly, seeing that she closed her eyes when our lips were just a short distance apart. With this sign of submission, I closed my eyes as well and was rewarded by the wonderful warmth of her mouth against mine.

I hesitated with my lips just lightly in contact with hers. I wasn't exactly certain how aggressive I should get with the kiss, and waited for her to let me know.

And she did. Her hand moved behind my neck and pulled me down, giving me consent to go a little further. She parted her lips to me and I was let in. I wasn't forceful about it, trying to let her know that I would only do what she gave me permission to do.

Naturally, my body began to respond despite my apprehension regarding the situation. I held her closer to me… That didn't help, as it caused a wonderful and welcomed pressure between us. My body instinctively sought more contact between us, and without thinking about it, my lower half pressed against her, giving her evidence of my impassioned physical state.

Even though she could certainly feel my arousal, she didn't move away. Instead, her arms clenched around me, keeping me in place. She seemed open to anything-- and I found myself wrestling with my self-restraint.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Just Trash

Chapter 2

So there I was, in the arms of this beautiful, innocent young woman, who was willing it seemed, to do whatever I had in mind. And I assure you, there was something on my mind. However, this was quickly shattered by the idea that this girl had no idea what sort of monster I honestly was. If she knew what I had done, if she knew what I was, certainly she wouldn't be here. I couldn't contaminate her with my touch any longer. I gently pushed her back, looking away in my shame as I struggled to get myself back under control.

I'd permitted myself to be delusional for a short time.

"Vincent?" I heard her ask, her voice laced with concern.

"I'm sorry," I said back quietly. I found myself unable to look at her, fearing that she'd see the horrific truth in my eyes. "I…I shouldn't have done that."

I may not have been gazing upon her, but I could tell that I'd crushed her somehow.

Her response came reluctantly. "Why not?"

I moved to face out toward the night again, gripping the railing before me to stop myself from turning back and putting my arms around her once more. I had to let her know that it wasn't because of anything that she had done, but that rather, it was my issue. God, doesn't that sound cliché? "I don't do that kind of thing."

She took one tentative step toward me. "Huh?"

I closed my eyes as the memory of the last woman that I had longed to touch and kiss playing across my mind. "There was a point in time when I thought that I could be wanted like that, but I learned that such things…aren't meant for me."

I felt her move to my side, leaning upon the railing. "You don't think I wanted what just happened between us?"

I glanced over at her, unwilling to let go of the railing before me as I struggled to get my physical arousal to die down. "Perhaps you were caught up in the moment."

"Vincent…" She seemed at a loss for a moment. I know that I had confused her by pushing her away. Surely, no one in their right mind would ever have refused her.

Then, she asked something that revealed to me that she was far more perceptive than I had initially given her credit for. "Who was she?"

I closed my eyes again, drawing in a good amount of the cold night air. The story wasn't one that I was yet ready to tell her. For once I did, I knew that Tifa would be beyond my grasp forever. "You do not want to know."

I heard her laugh a little to herself as she turned to face out at the night, mimicking my pose. Hearing her small twitter of nervous laughter, I couldn't help but look over at her, wondering what she was contemplating. I leaned sideways upon the railing, considering Tifa for a long while.

Perhaps she had thought of Cloud's reaction upon inevitably learning that she had let me kiss her. The idea of the young man-- no, boy-- plagued me. He and Tifa were close, and I had believed them to be…exclusive. I had to address it. "Besides, there is the whole issue of Cloud."

Her eyebrows darted up. "Cloud? You think I'm involved with _him_?"

I was confounded by her response. "Are you not?"

She plainly laughed at me, seeming to regret having done so after a few seconds. "No, no way. He and I have been close for a long time, but we're not involved like that."

I became pensive upon learning this. From the way he behaved around her, I found this difficult to believe. "He is awfully protective of you, Tifa."

Tifa faced away from me, her face suddenly looking pained. I understood that expression and it hurt something within me to see it upon her face. She sighed and said, "Yeah, I know, but we're not together. We've been friends for most of our lives. Maybe I felt more for him than just that, but he never has and after all that happened with Aeris, I don't think it ever will. He made things clear enough."

She understood. Tifa, this perfect creature, understood what it was like to be brushed aside. How anyone could do that to her… again, an idea beyond my comprehension. Still, I had to make things clear for myself. "You love him?"

Tifa closed her eyes, obviously reflecting. The way the breeze toyed with her hair as she stood there… "At one time, I did, but eventually I came to realize that he was never going to love me back. I know they always say stupid things like never give up on love or whatever, but I sort of did. I have a knack for only being attracted to men that will never want me, I guess."

Strange that I had the same problem. I was only drawn to women who would never be able to love me. No one would be able to love me. Not after what I had done and what I had become. Surely not Tifa. I wouldn't let myself even fathom the possibility of her ever harboring any honest feelings about me. How Cloud could have turned her away though, seemed like an act of idiocy. There had to be some reason for his actions.

I gazed at her. "It's not a matter of not wanting you, perhaps. It could be that you tend to choose those who are too blinded by something else to be able to give you what you need."

Her eyes seemed threatened with tears. Tifa seemed so lonely and fragile. "I don't care anymore. I'm sick of being alone."

Was it simply a desire for a temporary escape from that loneliness that had brought her here to me? I dared to ask, "What did you want from me tonight?"

Her complexion deepened from a blush that crept into her cheeks. I had embarrassed her, it seemed. It hadn't been my intent. She dropped her gaze to the deck. "To get to know you. To let you know that I cared and that I wasn't like the others on the ship."

My previous assumption that she'd simply come to me to seek some distraction from her solitude was wrong. She wasn't looking for some physical diversion. Tifa was looking for a friend, and the poor, misguided creature had come to me. I knew I couldn't fulfill that role for her, and I most likely frowned. "I misread you, then."

She knit her brow. "Misread me?"

"Yes." I crossed my arms, putting up a front that would hide what I honestly wanted from her. "I thought it possible that you were seeking…companionship for the night."

A somewhat peculiar expression overtook her at that moment. I will admit I rather liked it. Awkwardly, she replied, "If you had asked for anything…"

Her voice failed her and she flushed red. Apparently, Tifa had just embarrassed herself.

I knew I needed to give her a way out, but not necessarily an easy one. "If we're going to have to be together for the duration of this mission, then we need to clear this up. If I go back to ignoring you and in doing so anger you, then that will just be one more hopeless interpersonal relationship between a member of AVALANCHE and myself."

"Okay, I like you, Vincent. I have since you joined us. I wanted to see if I could get you just to talk to me tonight, and the fact that it went a little further than that…well, I was all right with it." Her anxiety was palpable, and she had my sympathy.

She also had my undivided attention. Tifa had just admitted to liking me. Juvenile of me to get so hung up on a word, I know, but rarely had anyone admitted possessing any regards for me. Certainly not someone like her. I contemplated the situation, and decided to delve deeper into her mind. "Why do you like me?"

Tifa looked a little confused. "I don't know, I'm just drawn to you, I guess."

The answer suddenly seemed obvious to me. "Do you feel sorry for me?"

Her body language answered before her voice did. "Maybe a little."

I turned my eyes away from her, as I felt a small inward twinge. That had not been what I had hoped to hear. My disappointment was probably clear. I didn't want to be felt sorry for. I didn't want to be as some injured stray on the side of the road that she would pay attention to simply out of a sense of duty. This stray had bit more than one hand, and had achieved his position within the universe. "Don't. I don't want people doing things for me out of pity. I earned absolutely everything that has befallen me. I deserve what I've been dealt."

"How so?"

My resentment for my failures reared up, smothering the small flicker of hope that I'd possessed just a short while before. "I am responsible for all of this, you know. All that we're going through…I could have stopped this from ever happening."

Tifa moved a little closer, seemingly intent upon getting me to reveal everything to her. "How can you be responsible for all of this?"

I knew that telling her would slam shut the door between she and I ever having anything of substance between us. Not that I thought there ever _could_ be anything of substance between us. I closed my eyes, sighing. I wouldn't lie to her, but I would let her rethink learning the truth. "If you truly wish to know tomorrow, come back after the others have gone to bed and I will tell you my story."

She seemed content with this. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded and then forced myself to leave. As I walked past her, I lost my usual concern for my personal space and I let my arm briefly glance against hers as I went. I would have rather given her a kiss goodnight, but that would have been highly inappropriate and I wasn't confident that she would have permitted such a thing in any event.

I went straight to my room. Nanaki, who I had been assigned to bunk with, was already molded down into the pile of blankets he had upon his bed. His head raised up as I dropped my cloak to the floor. "Valentine?"

I didn't bother to look at him as I landed upon the edge of my bed, kicking my boots off. "Yes?"

He took a few deep breaths of the air and purred. "Chocolate and Tifa?"

I let my hair fall loose and I cocked an eyebrow. The cat was too damn perceptive. He put me to shame. I glanced over at him. "She gave me a candy bar. Nothing more."

His one, glowing, amber eye narrowed. I could see that he was debating my honesty, but quickly, his exhaustion got the better of him and he put his head back down and resumed snoring.

The cat was not impressed.


	3. Chapter 3

It's Just Trash

Chapter 3

Cid, our self appointed leader, decided that we would spend the following day in Junon. As he led us through town, going from place to place on our supply run, I hung back from the group, a little further than I typically did. The simple explanation for this was that I was exhausted.

The day before had been hard, and after speaking with Tifa that night, sleep had come grudgingly. Pathetically, my mind had kept trying to scrape together some possible deep significance in what had taken place between she and I. Now, I feared even looking at her, afraid that I would catch a glimpse of she and the others laughing at me, or perhaps I dreaded seeing regret within her. Either way, I kept my distance. I resolved that I would get whatever answer I would receive come that night if she showed up to speak with me some more…or not.

Cait Sith and Nanaki had gotten out of this shopping trip, and for that, I was envious. The two of them ordinarily had a negative effect upon shopkeepers, and so they were spared being pulled along on these sprees. Along those lines, it would have made sense to have left Yuffie, ever thieving Yuffie behind as well, but never would we be that fortunate.

Highwind, in the meanwhile, was in his generally foul mood. His negativity ran deep, I had quickly learned. Perhaps he could have been a poster child for psychiatric medications, although they would have to be administered to him with a dart gun. He was the type of man that thought he had no problem, but the rest of the world did.

Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance. If I was guilty of making such an error in judging Cid's demeanor, then he must have been the most confident person in all of creation. Then again, I rarely made mistakes.

As we departed the third store we'd visited, Cid came to an abrupt halt, causing all of us to nearly run into one another. With my mind elsewhere, I had almost plowed into Tifa when this happened, but I caught myself, winding up standing directly behind her. I caught a glimpse of the shopping list in her hands that Cid had given to her a while before. I committed it to memory out of instinct.

The pilot spun around and leered at us. "Guys, we're never gonna get this shit done unless we split up. Cloud, you're with me. Barrett, you take Yuffie and shoot her if she starts shop lifting."

That, of course, instantly elicited a protest from the supposed ninja, to which I paid no heed. I found her abrasive at the best of times, and this was _not_ the best of times.

Cid then turned his attention to the woman before me. "Tifa, why don't you and Sunshine hit the ammo stores? Keep your neck covered, though."

I suppressed my desire to pull out my weapon and place a round into Cid's heart at his use of what he undoubtedly thought to be a cleaver nickname for me. I wasn't overly delighted with his little vampire barb, either, but I had almost become accustomed to them. Besides, he had assigned Tifa to go with me, and for that, I possessed no reservations. Cid had done something right, if only by accident.

Tifa seemed a little surprised by this and she looked over at me. She offered me a smile before facing Cid again. "Okay."

She seemed…pleased with the assignment. Tifa was apparently well with the notion of being sent shopping with me. Once more, that annoying spark of hope alit within me, but outwardly, I displayed nothing. I had read too much into the words and actions of another female once, and that had gotten me into my present station in life. I needed to keep myself and my enthusiasm reigned in.

Everyone split up and headed off on their own paths, but I took notice of the brief glare that Tifa received from Cloud as he was hauled off by the pilot. I tensed my jaw and turned to go in the direction of the ammunition shop. I knew that if I did so, Tifa would quickly follow and be spared further exposure to Cloud's disapproving leer. Soon enough, I heard her jogging to catch up with me.

I found the store that was our goal and headed within. Tifa stood a short distance from me and watched as I began collecting the items that I'd seen upon the list she had. The way she was looking at me made me question what was on her mind.

"Vincent?"

I braced myself for whatever query was going to come, and I looked over at her.

Tifa held up the list before her, her head cocking to the side. "How do you know what to get?"

I know I just commented upon Cid's mood being less than pleasant, but I will confess to the fact that on that day, mine wasn't much better. I was tired and confounded as to what this woman thought of me. I hate not being able to read people. Usually, I can without much effort, but Tifa was a mystery to me.

Nonetheless, my retort came out a little more clipped than I would have liked. "When Cid was speaking to us, I looked over your shoulder and saw the list, Tifa."

Her eyes fell to the paper in her hand as she attempted to hide her recoil to my words. "You memorized this whole thing in just a few seconds?"

_I was a Turk, Tifa. We were trained to observe and remember everything. You should know that, _I thought, but managed to keep myself from saying it. If I wasn't careful, I was going to push her away before she ever got the chance to hear my story which would do that for me. Of course, it wasn't just having been a Turk that gave me an exceptional ability to memorize things. I had been cursed with the type of mind that records absolutely everything. It made it easier for fate to keep tormenting me with visions of the past that way, I suppose.

I pulled one more case of rounds from the shelf and then faced her. "I have a photographic memory. I know exactly what's on that list, and I will never forget. I never forget anything that I see."

"Oh." She frowned at me. Tifa knew what I'd just thought, and that was both thrilling and terrifying for me.

I pushed my thoughts about her and the past to the side. For the time being, we had a job to carry out and I wasn't really in the state of mind to become rapt up in such things. I went back to gathering the items on her list. "You can help, you know."

Tifa shuffled over to me and held out her arms, allowing me to laden her with some of the supplies I was amassing. She remained silent as we trekked up to the register.

I paid the clerk with my own money, finding that fitting since much of what I had just gotten was for my own guns anyway. Besides, what use did I have for money otherwise? The only things that I ever went out of my way to purchase were bullets and…candy bars.

After that was done, we headed back to the ship. I held the bag containing our items to my chest, inwardly regretting the tone with which I'd spoken to Tifa in the store. I once more found myself unwilling to look at her, not wanting to see any potential negative expression upon her.

As we neared the airship, Tifa stopped walking. "Hey, I have to go back for a little bit."

I wondered if she was going to go find the others and tell them how I'd snapped at her. I continued walking.

"No, that's fine, Vincent. Of course I'll be careful," she said wistfully as she headed off the other way.

Upon hearing that, I looked back as she retreated. Yes, she perplexed me. On absolutely every level. Mentally, emotionally…and physically. I stood there for a moment, wondering what she was up to, but soon I shrugged it off and went into the ship.

After putting the supplies I'd purchased where they belonged, I returned to my room. My tiredness was getting the better of me and in the off chance that Tifa did want to talk that night, I knew I needed to get some rest.

Upon entering my room, I went to my bed, threw off my cloak and fell onto my bed. With Nanaki not present, I was free to do whatever I wished. I reached over and lifted up one of the ammunition charts I'd taped to the wall next to my bed. Beneath it was a picture of Tifa that I'd found lying around on the bridge shortly after I'd been awoken from stasis. I looked at her image there and sighed.

In the picture, she was waving at whoever was holding the camera, leaning forward slightly, and smiling as though she was giggling. Tifa's hair was loose in the photo, a rare sight, and hanging over her shoulders in a most alluring way. It was an exceptional picture of an amazing woman.

I know I've stated that I was attracted to her. Very attracted to her in fact, but after her small hint of interest the night before, I realized that it was probable that my sentiments for her went beyond some childish infatuation.

I found myself dwelling upon the incident from the night before and involuntarily, my body responded. Since it was entirely possible that Nanaki could return to the room at any given moment, there was nothing I could do to…alleviate my physical desires for the time being.

To be honest, I hadn't done that at all since coming out from beneath the Shinra mansion. Yes, I'd been aroused a few times as my mind fantasized about this or that, but I'd done nothing to acknowledge it. Typically, it tended to happen at night before I went to sleep and since that four hundred pound cat was just a short distance away at that time, I ignored my body's request for release. Honestly, I'd never been one much for that anyway. I know hearing that from a male promotes certain doubts, but I assure you, it's true. Besides, I feared what Chaos would do if I dared.

So, I let go of the chart and allowed it to fall back in place, cutting off my view of Tifa's image. I rolled onto my side and curled up a little, clearing my mind of all thought so that my body would comply and go back into submission.

I awoke with a start some time later when the door to the room opened and Nanaki entered, jumping up onto his own bed. I looked around, seeing through the small porthole in the wall that it was dark outside. I had slept longer than I had anticipated.

The cat began to knead at his bedding, as was his pre-sleep ritual. "Frighten you, did I?"

I shook off the last of my tiredness and stood up, grabbing my cloak from the floor. "I needed to get up anyway."

"You've been out for a while."

I looked over at him as I buckled my cloak. "I was tired."

"So I gathered." He circled a few times and then collapsed into his blankets. "Going out?"

"Just up to the deck for some air." I started for the door.

The cat purred in his contentment of being in bed. "Well, good luck."

"Good luck?" I stopped and looked back at him, seeing his one glowing eye fixed upon me.

Nanaki bared his teeth in his mockery of a human smile. "Yes. With Tifa."

Just what he thought was going on I didn't know, nor was I sure that I wished to. I considered him for a moment longer.

"You humans and your pheromones…makes you too simple to read. Your secret is safe with me." With that, he closed his eye and rolled onto his back, his legs sticking up in the air in a most undignified manner. "Go on, Valentine."

This cat knew too much, but since he didn't ridicule me as a general rule…only laughing at the taunts the others threw at me…I figured I needed to let it go. I left the room and silently made my way up to the deck, hoping that it wasn't so late that I'd missed Tifa-- again, only if she'd chosen to speak to me some more.

I leaned over the railing and stared down into the abyss. I waited for nearly an hour and began to accept the fact that she wasn't coming. I was disappointed and possibly hurt to some degree, and decided that I'd leave in just a few more minutes.

Then, the door to the deck opened and I heard her walking up behind me.

My heart rate doubled and inwardly, I smiled. She had arrived. Despite my misstep earlier that day, Tifa had shown up.

Tifa came to my side, holding out something to me. "Here."

I looked over and saw that she'd brought yet another candy bar for me. Having missed both lunch and dinner, I gratefully accepted it and gave her a small grin. It was fascinating that she could make me do that with such ease. I pulled back the wrapper and ate it eagerly. It was sweeter than all of the other candy bars that I'd ever had. It was the same brand as I had always loved, but something was making seem better. I mused that it could simply be that Tifa had given it to me. That seemed a little absurd, but…I think that it was true. Good God, I felt as though I was becoming a teenage girl with such idiotic romantic notions. It was emasculating.

Tifa had one, too, and crumpled her wrapper and stuffed it into her right pocket when she finished.

When I was done, I turned toward her, holding out my trash. "I suppose you don't want me throwing this overboard again?"

"Right." She nodded at me and took it, carefully placing it into her left pocket.

I leaned upon the railing sideways and thought about the meaning of her actions, and then just opted to call her on it. "Why separate pockets?"

Her eyes went wide. "What?"

In my amusement, I felt another small smile pass my lips. "Your wrapper you've placed in your right pocket both tonight and last night, and mine has gone into your left, an awkward maneuver since you're right handed. Ergo, you must have some reason for keeping my wrappers separate from your own. Why?"

The poor woman turned beet red upon my query. "You actually noticed that?"

There was some intent behind her action and I had to know what it was. My trash seemed important to her. "I notice everything."

Tifa turned away and faced out toward the night. "You caught me, and you're gonna laugh and think I'm completely retarded when I tell you."

_I would never be able to laugh at you, Tifa. In fact, if you tell me what I desperately hope this means…well, laughing would be the last thing that I would do. _I remained silent as such precariously optimistic ideas crossed my mind.

She made me wait for several seconds before she offered up her explanation. Tifa was clearly feeling self-conscious about what she was going to say. "Okay, I keep a journal of everything that happens, and I taped your first candy wrapper in there last night, and I was gonna put this one in there, too."

I struggled to keep from showing any emotion. There was a part of me that wanted to believe that this was a sign that she cared about me in some meaningful way. It was just trash, but to her, it seemed to mean more. I had to force myself to ask, "And what did you write about last night?"

Her lower lip was pulled between her teeth for a second. "Well, that I, uh, talked to you for a little while."

If that was all she'd written, I was going to find myself disappointed, even though I'd tried not to place any manner of expectation upon the situation. I needed to know, so I pried on. "And?"

Tifa looked over her shoulder toward me, her blush having deepened. "And that you let me see you, and that you kissed me."

I took some solace that she at least thought the moment worth mentioning and memorializing in her journal. However, there was no concrete evidence in her statement about there being any feelings within her about me. I knew not where I stood. "I see, and what will you write about tonight?"

She graced me with that wonderful smile of her and came closer. "I don't know, yet. I do believe that you were supposed to tell me your story."

The weight of my past immediately crushed in upon me. I'd been keeping the focus of the conversation upon her, not wanting to have to give her the inevitable truth about myself. "My story. So, you wish to hear it, even at the risk of coming to hate me for it?"

She shook her head slightly, her eyes softening. "You'd have to tell me that you'd killed my family or something to get me to hate you, Vincent."

_Then you will, _I thought. I gazed upon her, feeling that these would be the last moments that she'd be willing to spend with me alone. "Your family is dead, or so I was led to believe from your conversations with Cloud and Aeris."

Her eyes left me, tears making her voice waver. "They are. My mom died when I was still a kid, and my dad was killed when…"

I already knew the story and it stung something within me. "Sephiroth burned your hometown, is that when he died?"

She nodded, wiping her eyes as she tired to hide her tears.

"Then hate me, Tifa." Since I was responsible for what had become of Sephiroth, I was also responsible for her father's death. I hated myself more in that moment than I had since Lucrecia's death. I couldn't bear looking at her and I turned and walked away. "I killed him."

"What?" Her voice reflected her confusion. "You didn't kill him! You were asleep at the time under that damn mansion!"

I wanted to vanish and not have to burden her with my presence any more. I dared to look back at her. "I may as well have. His blood is on my hands, I assure you."

"Vincent…" There was something in her eyes for me right then, but I just racked it up to pity once again. "How can you say that?"

I turned from her. I was going to give her one more chance to back out. Somehow, it seemed wrong to share my miserable past with her. "Do you really want to hear it?"

Tifa came closer. "I wouldn't have come here if I didn't!"

I resolved to go ahead and tell her. If the truth was going to push her away from me forever, then it was better that I get it over with now before I found myself more hopelessly…in love with her than I was. That's what it amounted to. I was in love with Tifa and I hated myself for it. She'd done nothing to have such a horrid thing happen to her. I would tell her and lose her friendship, but I needed us to be in some other place than where we were. To do so would mean that I would never be able to be up on deck again. I hoped she would take me somewhere I'd never go under normal circumstances. "Not here."

"What?"

"I will tell you, but not here. We need to be behind locked doors." I closed my eyes and let the wind remove some of the heat of my anxiety from my face.

Quietly, she offered a location. "I have a room to myself."

That was both the one place I most wanted to go and the place I most feared being in. I was in a paradox. Fate was going to do what it willed with me, and I was just along for the ride. "That will do."

A/N-Well, how am I doing here?


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, just another little warning. There's male/male rape in this chapter. There, I said it.

It's Just Trash

Chapter 4

My heart felt like it was about to leap from my chest as I followed Tifa through the darkened corridors of the ship. We went along in silence, knowing that it would look very bad to anyone who saw us together moving toward her room at this hour. If nothing else, I didn't want to cause her the grief of having to suffer the taunts of the others that she would certainly receive if they thought even for a moment that she had any vested interest in me. We were merely going to talk, I held no other illusions about the situation.

When we finally reached her door, she opened it and waved me in, locking the door behind us. I stood frozen in place for a few seconds as she walked past me and went to go sit on the end of her bed. Once seeing her settle in, I went to the bed opposite to her and sat as well, knowing that I was upon Aeris' bed. I was grateful for the present darkness of the room, since it lent a calmness to the atmosphere that I desperately needed.

She was the first one to break the silence that fell over us. "So, what's your story?"

I felt a sweat break upon my skin, and I took off my cloak, letting it pool behind me upon the bed. After, I leaned forward and stared into her eyes, trying to plan out my words so that the story didn't come off as badly as it inevitably had to. I spoke quietly. "Twenty-seven years ago, I was twenty-seven years old. As you know, I was a Turk."

She nodded, her interest plainly written across her face. "Yeah."

I took a deep breath, regretting what I was about to say. "I'd been a Turk for a few years, and I was assigned to watch over the scientists in Nibelheim. One of whom was a woman named Lucrecia." I closed my eyes as I envisioned the female in question.

Tifa was staring at me still, I could feel it.

I forced myself to go on and met her gaze again. "Even then, I was somewhat introverted, but she seemed willing to talk to me and we became friends after a time." I probably smiled at the bittersweet memories. "We became…close."

Tifa lay down on her side so that she was still looking at me. There was concern and fascination in her eyes and I took in her image, feeling it burned forever into my mind.

"I began to think of her in terms beyond of friendly." My resentment over my emotions back then ran through me. I went on, a frown coming to my lips. "Not that she'd ever given me any manner of sign to indicate that she had any deep sentiments for me. Nonetheless, as time went on, I…"

Tifa seemed to feel the need to push me onward. "As time went on you what?"

I closed my eyes once more, hating the truth that I had to tell. "I…fell in love with her."

I opened my eyes just in time to see Tifa smile. I took it as some sort of ridicule from her, as I wasn't accustomed to feeling much else from those around me. "Does it amuse you to hear me say that I was capable of loving someone at some point in my life?"

I saw something behind her eyes that looked pained, and she shook her head as that smile quickly faded. "No, that's not it at all."

"Then what?" I asked, feeling that I was justified in seeking an answer.

She looked frightened. I wondered what she thought I would possibly do, nonetheless, she answered. "I…I'm just happy that you're telling me about yourself, that's all. I'm not making fun of you or trying to annoy you in any way, Vincent."

I was filled with doubt and relief at the same time. I knew that she was speaking the truth, yet after all that I had been through, I couldn't believe that fate wasn't intending to pull the rug out from under me at any moment. I locked up.

She sighed and then came and sat at my left side. This didn't help my anxiety in the least. "Vincent, I really want to hear this. I'm not just messing with you."

I was confused and scared. I'll openly admit that I was actually afraid. I chanced a glance at her, and then looked down to the floor. I sat up straight, wondering if I should just leave her in peace. "So be it."

Then, Tifa surprised me again. She reached over and took possession of my left hand, weaving her fingers though those hellish talons Hojo had bestowed upon me, and placed our joined hands firmly in her lap. It was as though she'd picked up on my momentary impulse to leave and she was going to physically restrain me if that's what it took.

However, I was touched that she had so willingly made contact with that part of me. "It doesn't seem to put you off."

She shook her head, looking into my eyes compassionately. "Why would it? It's just a hand, Vincent."

I corrected her. "It's a piece of metal."

She offered me a merciful smile. "That happens to be your hand."

"If you say so." I considered our joined hands for a moment before looking down at the floor once again. "In any event, I continued to see Lucrecia outside of the lab as I escorted her around town. When we were together, she would talk to me and even hold my hand at times, seeming to be perfectly at ease in my presence. This did nothing to diminish my feelings toward her. She seemed so genuine in her interest in me, wanting to talk to me, learn about me. Although she was only doing this on the grounds of friendship, I suppose I read more into it."

I had to stop at that point and put my right hand to my eyes. There was the dreaded sting of tears there, and that was the last thing that I wanted Tifa, or anyone else for that matter, to witness. Once I had my composure back, I continued. "Finally, after having been in her company for a nearly a year, I got up the nerve to ask her if her feelings for me went beyond friendly." I laughed at my own stupidity in the past. "She…she told me that although she had some deep regards for me, that she wasn't in love with me because she'd fallen in love with someone else."

I cursed myself silently, as the tears returned. I yet again fought them and seemed to win out.

Tifa then let go of my left hand to put her arm around my shoulders, then retaking my hand in her other. She was trying to comfort me. I couldn't believe it. Tifa whispered quietly, "That's sad, Vincent."

For me, sad was an understatement, but I was again feeling like I was going to freeze up with her touching me like she was. I knew I had to get it over with before I did run from the room, refusing to give her the rest of the story. "I know, and I should have handled it better than I did. When she told me that, I couldn't help but question about who it was that she'd actually fallen in love with since she had never mentioned anyone to me." I shook my head, disgusted with my actions. "At that point, she ran away from me and down the street. I never quite figured out what she'd thought at that moment. However, I followed her at a distance, and then I saw all that I needed to."

Her eyes were burning into me in the darkness.

My body began to involuntarily tremble as I was coming to the part of the tale that would forever damn me in Tifa's view. "She ran right to Professor Hojo and into his arms. Lucrecia had fallen in love with a man that I'd come to appreciate as a monster. I had seen his idea of scientific experimentation and I knew that he was above all else a sadist bent on harming others for his own gratification. Part of me, though, doubted that she did really love him. I think the truth of it was that she loved her job more than anything, and getting Hojo's favors would allow her to advance her career. With this in mind, I faded into the shadows, still watching her, waiting for the moment when she would tell me that she had made a mistake. And wait I did. I didn't hassle her, I rarely even spoke with her, not wishing to annoy her. I figured that as long as she carried on as though she was happy, that I would be happy myself."

I paused and looked at Tifa, seeing her nod as she took in all that I was telling her. There was once more a pain in her eyes, and I could see that it wasn't just for me. Something about what I was saying was bringing up something from her own past that was hurtful.

I wanted so badly at that moment to stop and not go on, fearing that I would break down in front of her. Yet, I had told her that I would give her the tale and that was what I intended to do. I'd already come too far to stop now.

I hung my head as the past smothered me. My shaking worsened. "She married him."

Tifa perked to attention. "Hojo's married?"

"Was," I replied simply.

She silently anticipated my continuation.

"They got married and still I kept my silent vigil, thinking it not my place to intervene. Finally, one day, she went out and I was sent to escort her. As we walked along, she told me she was pregnant."

I put my right hand to my eyes again. The tears were daring me to try and stop them. I knew that my voice was already displaying the fact that I was going to lose it. The memory of my heartbreak was just more than I could take. After all, it may have been nearly thirty years ago, but since I'd been in stasis since that time, the emotions and memories were still all too fresh.

I had to get it over with, and I had to do it quickly. "That killed me to hear that. She then went on to tell me that Hojo was going to allow her to be a part of his Jenova project by injecting her with the cells from that…thing…in order to see their effect upon the baby."

Tifa drew in a sharp breath. The story was getting to her. "Inject a pregnant woman with something like that for an experiment? That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of! How could she let him do that to her?"

"Again, to Lucrecia, it was all a matter of doing what she felt she needed to in order to get recognized for her work for the company. Right then and there I should have killed Hojo and taken her away. Yet, I did nothing. I let events unfold as they did." And with that, my control faltered. My shaking had escalated and my voice became hoarse. "The Jenova began to poison her body and she fell ill. I watched her deteriorate as her pregnancy progressed. Only after things had gotten too far did I decide to act. Lucrecia went into labor and had the baby, but the stress of the Jenova along with what she'd gone through to have that infant proved too much. She died."

"Oh my God, Vincent, I'm so sorry!" Tifa held me closer to her. She wasn't yet going to throw me to the wolves for my glaring failure, but she still didn't know the whole tale.

"Not as sorry as I was." I stood up, no longer worthy of her comfort. "I went into the lab where Hojo was, determined to kill him, but before I had a chance, I was shot and killed."

"Killed? Vincent, you're alive."

"I am very much dead, Tifa." _Although, you've made me feel alive for the first time in twenty-seven years, _my inner voice continued.

I knew at that point, I had to show her something in order to make my point. I turned toward her and pulled open my shirt. That done, I went and knelt before her, letting my shirt slip from my shoulders, so that she could see the evidence of the truth.

Hojo had shot me, in fact, he'd shot me a total of three times at point blank range, straight through the heart. I remember the searing sensation of those bullets penetrating my chest. I had staggered backward several steps until I'd hit the wall of the room. With each attempted beat of my heart afterward, I could feel the wounds pierced through it tear wider. It became impossible to breathe within a few seconds and I fell to the floor. I remember hearing Hojo laugh as my life failed me and my heart relinquished its faltering efforts at beating. Sure enough, I had been killed.

I was pulled back from the peace of oblivion, however, by the very man who had sent me there. I had been dissected upon death, my heart either repaired or replaced, I have no honest idea which, and sent back to the misery of life for the mere purpose of Hojo's abuse. Now, as my evidence, she saw the horrendous scar that ran the length and breadth of my torso, from my post mortem surgery.

Tifa's eyes widened upon seeing what had been done to my body. I wondered how repulsed she was by the sight of me, and how long it would be before she either asked me to put my shirt back on or she simply threw me out.

She did neither. Instead, her small hand slowly reached out until it was upon me. Tifa let her fingers trace the scar down toward my waist, then allowing her hand to linger where the incision terminated. "Good God, what did he do to you?"

I was unable to remove my gaze from where her hand was still making contact with me. "He cut me open, put me back together so that I would live for the purpose of more torture."

Tifa's eyes seemed to threaten tears, and she shook her head. "Torture?"

I couldn't believe that she was still willing to hear more. I lifted my left arm up, bringing it between us. "So-called experiments. The first of which was his desire to see if he could hook cybernetic limbs onto humans in such a way that they'd have sensation and acceptable ranges of movement. Of course, I was not an amputee when he got a hold of me."

Tifa reached up and clasped my artificial hand between hers. How she could still touch me I had no idea. "He…he cut off your arm?"

"While I was awake." The memory of having my left arm literally sawed off while I watched and screamed for mercy burned through me.

Finally, Tifa turned away. I figured that I had reached her breaking point and she was going to leave or send me away. That thought terrified me. "Tifa?"

Slowly, she turned to face me again. "Yeah?"

Maybe it was time to stop. I really didn't want to lose her…friendship? I dared to think that maybe I had her friendship. There was again that damned sting in my eyes. "Do you want me to stop telling you?"

Her hand rose up, and for a second I thought that it was being brought up to push me away, instead, it was gently placed against my cheek, sending a jolt through my body.

"No, I want to know all of it," she said softly.

I placed my right hand over the one she had upon my face and closed my eyes. I was thankful for her continued acceptance and I turned my head just the smallest amount, until my lips met her hand. I placed upon it a small kiss, allowing myself a momentary escape from my past. That done, I drew her hand away from my face, and placed it over my heart.

We were almost to the end of the story. I opened my eyes and looked into hers, still amazed that I found nothing but compassion there. "He did many, many terrible things to me, Tifa. I was cut open, injected, tortured, and…"

I stopped myself. There were memories that I hadn't even let myself admit as reality yet. Somehow, it was important for me to do so. Everything had to be out on the table, all of it, every detail. I felt tears fall from my eyes.

She moved closer to me. "And?"

I turned away from her, my shame taking the last of my pride. The memory of all that had been done played itself out. Hojo kept me strapped to a table in his lab for some time. After my initial resurrection, my amputation was the first thing he did from me. At some point during that, I passed out, mercifully escaping the actual moment when my arm was torn from my body. When I awoke, however, I found myself in complete darkness. I was no longer on my back, but rather, I had been placed face down, and restrained in that position. Weakened from the experience of having my arm cut off, I could only struggle in complete futility against my restraints. The way the cold steel of the table I was upon chilled my body, I knew I was unclothed-- completely vulnerable. I must have been like that for hours, before there was a brief moment of light and a sound as someone let themselves into the room. From the outline of them that I saw as they entered, I knew that it was Hojo. He stepped right up beside me, although I couldn't see anything in the darkness.

"Mr. Valentine…" the madman's voice has hissed at me. "How are you feeling? You seem to have lost consciousness during our little procedure."

I hadn't given him the satisfaction of a reply. All I wanted was death. The pain throughout my body, from both my left arm and chest was unbearable.

I felt him moving around beside me, and I heard the sound of his belt being undone and his pants unzipped. I was dazed from what I'd been through, but I was savvy as to what was probably about to happen.

I heard Hojo laugh under his breath. "I think we both need a little break from my work, don't you?"

When I felt his cold hand land upon the small of my back, I tried to struggle once more, but the straps held me fast to the table. I was defenseless.

Hojo's hand slid away, and I suddenly felt the table I was upon move. The angle was changed and I found myself uprighted, being placed almost close to vertical.

"I can't help but think that you had designs on fucking my wife, Mr. Valentine," he growled at me. "I think it only fitting that I now do so to you."

A wave of nausea crashed into me and I wretched, purging the scant contents of my stomach. Unfortunately, restrained as I was, that meant that I had no option but to throw up so that it ran down my body. That, naturally, made my sickness worse and I heaved several more times.

This didn't seem to put Hojo off in the least. He'd come in there with one intent and was not going to be dissuaded by a little emesis. I felt him clasp my hips with his icy hands, and his body pressed against my back. "Are you ready, Mr. Valentine?"

Once more, I attempted to struggle as I felt his erection pressed against me. "Don't…"

"I think I will." With that, Hojo drove into me. He'd slicked himself up with some manner of oily substance, allowing him to force his way in, despite my body's piteous attempts to deny him access.

The pain…I can't really equate it to anything else I'd ever felt. Physically, it didn't hurt as much as some of the other things that he'd done to me, but emotionally, psychologically, it was by far the worst torture he'd bestowed upon me. He drilled at me relentlessly, only climaxing when he'd brought me to tears. I'd been stripped of my human dignity.

I was brought back to the present when I heard Tifa draw in a jagged breath. She was awaiting my answer still.

Not daring to look at her, I put it simply. "Raped."

I heard Tifa catch her breath and I wondered if she thought me less of a man for what had been done to me. Then, with anger in her voice, I heard her say, "That bastard…"

She was still here with me. I hadn't yet lost her.

"What he did to me personally wasn't the worst of it, though." I dared to look into her eyes.

Tifa was allowing herself to cry. I wondered if she was honestly crying for me. "How could anything be worse than all of that?"

"Lucrecia's baby…" I pulled my headband away, allowing my hair to fall loose, trying to hide my face in my shame. "He made me watch his experiments upon the baby."

"What? He experimented on his own child?" Her hands came up and rested upon my shoulders. I wanted so badly just to take comfort in her embrace, but I didn't dare to move.

"Yes. I have no idea how long I lived like that, strapped to a table, being tortured and watching him do the unspeakable to that baby. But one day, he seemed to lose his fascination with me and I was placed into that stasis box after being injected with one last chemical. I think that last drug was what put Chaos into me." I sighed, as the weight of the story finally lifted. Tifa now knew the truth and it was now out of my hands.

"Vincent…" She gave me her answer and pulled me to her.

I was shocked. She held me tightly, and she began crying against my neck. Tifa not only accepted me, but was willing to share my pain. In that moment, I felt my ages long misery cut in half and I allowed myself to cry freely, more over my relief and being accepted than the pain of my memories.

Still keeping me close, Tifa eventually asked, "But I don't understand how any of that makes you responsible for what we're going through now."

My blood ran cold. Tifa, throughout it all, still hadn't grasped the true meaning of my tale. I reached out and wiped the tears from her face, suddenly feeling like she shouldn't be wasting them upon me. "Have you not figured it out?"

She just shook her head.

My disgust at myself resurfaced. "Tifa, that baby…was Sephiroth."

Tifa gasped, and then several moments of silence passed. Finally, she whispered, "That doesn't make this your fault, Vincent."

Tifa was wrong, so terribly wrong. "Yes, it does. I could have prevented all of this if I'd taken Lucrecia away or if I'd killed Hojo. Countless lives could have been saved. I watched the woman I loved sacrifice her life to a madman and a job. How can I ever live with that? I am responsible for everything that has happened at Hojo's and Sephiroth's hands since that time."

"No, you're not!" she exclaimed. "You didn't know. In fact, stepping aside and trying to let her find her own happiness…that just tells me how much you cared."

Tifa was defending me from myself. I took note of that. However, I couldn't just let go of it that easily. "I could have stopped her from dying, Tifa. I could have stopped Hojo from turning that baby into a monster. And I will live forever knowing that." I closed my eyes, wishing to vanish from existence.

Tifa wouldn't let me do that, so it seemed. She drew me back to her, and put her lips to mine. I submitted, disbelieving that anyone, much less this wonderful female, could be accepting of me on this level.

I wanted to tell her how I felt for her, but stopped short of doing so. I moved away from her and stood up. "Tifa…"

She shot to her feet. "What?"

I couldn't contaminate this pure creature with my…being. "Don't waste your affection upon me." I felt my lips pulled into a frown. It was killing me to keep myself away from her. "I'm not worth it."

Tifa refused to let me push her away. She neared me again and put her arms around my waist. "Yes, you are."

I was confounded. "Why?"

"Because I care for you, Vincent. This didn't change that."

Surely, she was mistaken in her interpretation of her sentiments toward me. "Do you honestly or is it just pity?"

"I'm not going to lie, I do feel sorry for you to some degree, but Vincent, I was attracted to you before hearing this. I've liked you all along." She placed her head against my chest, causing my heart to beat faster. "How often am I going to have to say that?"

I was going to ask her flat out, so that I could quit trying to bend the meaning of her words out of my favor. I let my face touch her hair. "You sincerely wish to be with me?"

She nuzzled against me, causing something within me to stir. Tifa had the most extraordinary effect upon me. "Vincent, I wouldn't be here like this now with you if I didn't."

Her words sank in. She meant what she'd said. Tifa had some desire for me. That was overwhelming, but I knew I had to let her think about it just a little longer. I put my hands upon her shoulders and moved her back. I think I was smiling then. "Tomorrow night, come and find me again. You have another day to think it over."

Tifa's eyes looked up at me, filled with emotion. "Can I at least have a kiss?"

_I will give you whatever you wish, Tifa. I'm at your mercy,_ I thought as I placed my right hand behind her neck. I brought her to me and let my lips meet hers. She allowed me into her mouth and I crossed over, but just for a moment. To have given in much more would have just driven me insane with my desire and love for her. Slowly, I moved away from her.

I got my shirt back on properly and grabbed my other things, feeling her eyes upon me the entire time. I had to force myself to get to the door, fighting the urge to run back into her arms. I looked back at her before exiting. "Goodnight, Tifa."

She offered me a sympathetic smile. "Goodnight. Vincent?"

Hearing the question in her voice, I looked at her once more.

"Thanks, I know that wasn't easy for you." There was still that hint of hope in her expression.

I felt a faint smile play upon my lips, my gratitude for her understanding intense. "Thank you for letting me do so, Tifa. I honestly believe that you care."

With that, I left. I made it back to my room without being seen. I slipped through the door and went over toward my bed. I stripped down to my boxers and got beneath the sheets, thinking that I'd successfully gotten in without waking Nanaki.

I was wrong.

"Did it go well?"

_Damn it, _I inwardly cursed. I was emotionally spent and wanted no more than sleep. I rolled onto my side, seeing that the cat wasn't even looking at me, just speaking while keeping his head nestled beneath the sheets. "Everything is fine."

"You've not mated."

I sat up and glared over toward the lion. "Excuse me?"

He lifted his head, opening his glowing eye. "You've not mated. It would do you good to do so, Valentine. She's receptive to you, you know."

Nanaki's continued perception was unnerving. However, he was able to sense things as an animal that I was not. "Receptive to me?"

He purred. "Every time you enter the room, her chemical signals change. It's almost sickening to be near the two of you with all of the pheromones you throw off in one another's presence. It makes it hard for me to breathe."

That he had some sort of evidence of Tifa's longing for me was pleasing to say the least. In fact, that was probably the understatement of the year. "I'll try to keep it under control."

"I would appreciate it. Just mate and get it out of your systems." With that, Nanaki rolled onto his back, assuming his favorite sleep pose.

I couldn't help it and I laid back down, an idiotic smile upon my lips. Tifa honestly wanted me. I was amazed, and I was in love.

A/N-- Okay, well, I'm four chapters into this thing now. The Vincent chapters are coming out longer than the Tifa ones. I guess he's a little more wordy. Meh.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm gonna do the best I can here… I am female and well, how the hell do I know?

It's Just Trash

Chapter 5

I was already up and dressed by the time Cid ever so gently roused the others with his morning announcement, respectfully requesting that all aboard remove their hindquarters from their bunks. Naturally, he didn't express it quite like that, but you get the gist.

That was at six, and by that time I'd been awake for nearly an hour. I tended to get up before the others. Last to bed, first to rise. That way, I had at least two brief episodes of peace everyday.

That morning, however, I hadn't merely risen before the others because I wished to be alone, but rather, I'd gotten up because I simply wasn't tired anymore. The sleep that I'd gotten had been the most restful that I'd had in living memory. There had been no nightmares, and that had been an experience that I'd been deprived of since being put into stasis.

That had been because of Tifa's comfort and concern the night before-- and I was grateful.

In any event, I'd left my room and was sitting in the makeshift mess hall, finishing off my morning ration by the time the others began to arrive. First was Cid. He glanced in my direction as he picked up his MRE, and then landed at the table in the middle of the room. I was off in the corner, at the small table located there, feeling that I wasn't welcome to sit with the others.

We were alone for the time being, and as he landed at his place and peeled off the foil from his breakfast, he glowered over at me. "What the fuck's up, Valentine?"

I knew that he didn't honestly want to talk to me, so I just dropped my gaze to my meal, stabbing one of the tater tots before me on the talon that graced my left index finger. I honestly had little need for silverware with those claws of mine. For the record, I detest tater tots, if not just for their ridiculous name. I placed it into my mouth and crushed it between my teeth.

Cid huffed. "Anti-social mother fucker." With that, Cid flung a plastic fork at me, which struck me harmlessly in the shoulder before clattering to the floor. "Have some God damned manners!"

I brought my gaze back up to meet his as I swallowed the cold morsel that I'd eaten. "Leave me alone."

"You ain't no fun, Sunshine." Cid turned his attention to his food and got to eating, apparently opting to blow me off for the time being.

Shortly thereafter, Cloud and Barrett stumbled in, also getting their rations. They sat with Cid and were soon joined by Yuffie.

I pretended to pay no attention as Cid recounted to them how he'd hurled the fork at me and they all snickered. I felt some of them glance over at me, but I didn't bother to look. I pushed my ration back and pulled the small carton of orange juice that I'd gotten to me. I stabbed one of my claws through the top of it and then shoved in the small straw that came with it.

At this, too, they laughed. I don't know what struck them as so amusing about this. I did it every time we had breakfast on the ship. I suppose that I was simply the closest thing to entertainment that they had. This morning, however, their snide remarks and leers did nothing to dent my mood. Although I wasn't showing it to them in the least, inwardly, I felt better than I had since joining AVALANCHE. I had a friend. All right, to me she was already far more than a friend.

That's when Tifa arrived. I watched without noticeably staring as she went to the back of the room, picked up her ration and then headed toward me. She walked right past Cloud, who'd grown accustomed to her sitting with him during meals and she landed right before me.

The conversation at the other table immediately stopped and I saw several of them actually turn around to gawk at her back as she sat.

I locked into her gaze, delighted that she had opted to be near me, but knowing that she needed to move away, lest the others harass her later. "Tifa."

She gave me a smile. "How are you today?"

I had to turn my eyes elsewhere, not wishing to say what I had to. "You really ought not sit with me."

I may not have been looking directly at her, but I saw her instantly seem hurt. "Why not? I thought…"

"Tifa, it has nothing to do with how I feel about you." I dared to look into her eyes once more. "It has to do with the fact that they will make fun of you if they believe that you are interested in me in any way."

I had offended her, and she let me know it. "Who cares what they think? You know, all day yesterday when we were with the others, you ignored me completely. You can't be someone's friend and act like that."

I cringed inwardly. Still, I worried about how she would be treated by the others if she insisted on consorting with me in their presence. I spoke quietly and looked away from her, hoping that those at the other table couldn't hear. "Tifa, as I said, it's got nothing to do with my feelings for you. I am merely trying to save you from becoming the butt of their jokes. Turn around."

Tifa turned in her seat and saw that the others were staring.

Gently, I urged her, "Go over there before they get any ideas."

She took her breakfast and shuffled off, taking up her usual place beside Cloud. It pained me to have to watch her do that, but I knew it was for the best. Tifa opened her MRE and got to eating.

I watched in silence as Cloud said something to her, causing her to turn to him and say something quietly in response. Cloud then gestured toward me and glanced in my direction, saying something else.

Tifa raised her voice. "So, I can't even talk to other people without you questioning me?"

His response came out loud enough for me to hear clearly. "Not him you can't. You don't know a damn thing about him, Tiff. All of us pretty much agree that he's way far out there, and you have no idea what he's capable of. Hell, some of us aren't even sure that he's really on our side."

And there it was. There was doubt as to my intentions in joining AVALANCHE. Despite all that I'd done on the battlefield, regardless of all the times that my gun had saved the lives of our party's members, they had no faith in my loyalty. I had known that they didn't like me as a person, but I had never imagined that my commitment to the cause was in question.

Yet, Tifa stepped up to my defense. "How dare you! You have no idea what he's been through, Cloud. If anyone has a vested interest in seeing an end to all that's going on right now, it sure as hell is him!"

Cloud scoffed. "And you do have some sort of idea? How's that possible? The guy's said like two words to all of us since he's been here!"

I couldn't bear to hear anymore. I got up silently from my place and slipped from the room. I wanted so badly to silence their taunts and mistreatment of Tifa, but I knew that coming to her defense would have done no more than alienate her further than I already had by simply existing. As the door swung closed behind me, I heard Tifa shout something at Cloud that also pertained to Cid, but I walked away before I caught all of it.

I was causing her to suffer the jeers of the others. Not only had she shared in my pain the night before, but now she was sharing in the day to day misery that I coped with. It made me feel-- subhuman to have brought that upon her. I cursed myself and retreated to my room.

The cat was not present and I went and sat upon my bed. I reached over and lifted up the chart that covered Tifa's picture and gazed upon it. "I'm sorry."

Her smiling image just gazed back.

"I have no right to cause you such misery."

The silence of the room enveloped me and I let the chart fall back, covering the picture once more. I hung my head and sighed, wondering if it would simply be better for me to leave the ship. After all, with the exception of Tifa and _perhaps_ Nanaki, they didn't even think I was fighting on their side.

My train of thought was cut off as I heard a door a short way down the hall slam. From the direction of it, I knew that it was Tifa's. I got up from my bed and went out the door, intending to say goodbye and then flee the ship.

I slipped down the hall in silence and placed my hand upon her door. Fearing that someone would come along and see me there, I dared to try opening it, finding it unlocked. I took the liberty of going inside. I closed the door silently behind me, seeing Tifa lying across her bed on her stomach, a candy bar in her hand. She began to unwrap it.

I announced my presence. "That is not acceptable for breakfast."

By the way she shot up from the bed and spun, I knew that I had frightened her. She let me know it, too. "It's not acceptable to sneak up on people like that!"

I felt bad and looked away. Still, I had only entered under stealth in order to protect her. "Well, it wouldn't do to have my arrival here potentially noticed by anyone, especially after what just occurred because you happened to sit by me for a few seconds."

She sat back upon the end of her bed and took a bite of her candy bar. "Fine. No one can ever know that we're friends. Got it."

I wasn't able to conceal the fact that her words and tone hit me hard. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and I went to Aeris' bed and sat opposite to her. In some sort of gesture, I reached out, wanting a candy bar, thinking that it might be the final one that I received from her.

Tifa seemed willing to humor me and she pulled another from her stash and tossed it at me. "There."

"What did they say to you after I left?" I asked, curious.

She didn't take her eyes off of her candy. "Nothing that you probably didn't already figure out."

From her tone, I knew that she was still upset about it and didn't want to discuss the situation.

"I see." I pulled the wrapper back from what she'd given me and started eating, feeling that it would keep me from saying anything upsetting or stupid for at least a few moments.

Tifa looked up and stared at me. "How do you put up with it?"

"The knowledge that there is a greater good to be accomplished. What I have to endure to see to that end is insignificant." I finished my treat and considered the wrapper for a few seconds, before seeing if Tifa was still interested in collecting such bits of trash from me. If she took it, I would at least have some notion of where I stood with her and I would know whether or not to just leave. That piece of trash suddenly was the most important thing in the world.

To my delight, she readily plucked it from my hand and placed it carefully upon the bed behind her, before throwing her own into the garbage can.

I shook my head in my disbelief. "Your journal is going to be nothing more than a repository for my garbage."

"So?" she replied simply.

Someone then came to the door, beating upon it. Tifa's eyes went wide. "Crap."

I got up and went behind her locker, so that whoever it was wouldn't be able to see me when she answered.

"Open the fuck up!" Cid's gruff voice shouted through the door.

I heard her open it. "What?"

There was as short pause before Cid replied. "Uh, look, I know you got pissed this morning, and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

Tifa's voice sounded incensed. "Okay… It's just that you guys…never mind. You all showed me exactly what kind of people you are this morning."

The door then slammed and locked. Cid could be heard cursing to himself out in the hall before he walked off. I noticed the sound of his door soon opening and slamming as he retreated to his room.

Tifa went and sat on her bed again, and I went back to where I had been as well. Cid and Tifa had possessed a certain chemistry between them and I had possibly destroyed that. "Now, I've driven a wedge between Cid and you."

She shook her head, still obviously angry. "He's a pain in the ass and he's getting what he deserves."

I looked at the door, wondering how long it would be before Cloud came along demanding her attention. "You and Cid got along well before this. In fact, I think that you're the only one on this ship that he treats like a human being."

Tifa's expression softened somewhat. "Cid's a decent guy on some level, he's just crass and overbearing. He's got a good heart, but I'm starting to see that it's selective."

I had to honestly doubt that concept. After watching how Cid verbally abused his lover back in Rocket, I couldn't help but think that simply put, Cid was most likely an insufferable ass. Still, Tifa liked him. "I don't want to cost you your friends, Tifa."

"Damn it, Vincent, if they're willing to turn on me because I like you then they aren't really my friends, are they? Real friends don't do that." She crossed her arms, looking upset again.

Having real friends was a concept to which I wasn't exactly familiar. "I've not had many friends. I guess I wouldn't know."

Tifa left her bed and sat at my side, the remaining anger that she possessed seeming to lift. "You do now. At least one, in any event."

With that, my resolve to leave the ship and disappear withered and died. I closed my eyes, debating whether or not I should dare to see how deep her feelings for me went. After the mess with Lucrecia, I wanted to know how she felt from the outset, so I wouldn't let my delusions get the better of me. I turned toward her and asked, "Just friends?"

Tifa gave me the most beautiful smile that I had ever witnessed. "No, not as far as I'm concerned."

I admitted something. "Me neither."

She stared into my eyes, searching for something.

I remembered what Nanaki had said to me the night before. If Tifa honestly had an interest in me, then I was going to go for it. She seemed willing to put up with whatever being with me brought on. I undid my cloak and let it fall away from me. I smiled back at her. "Your life is going to be hell with the others, you know."

Tifa came closer. "I don't give a damn about them anymore."

I touched the side of her face with my right hand, able to appreciate the fact that she was trembling just the smallest amount. There was anticipation and fear in her expression and I realized that it meant something. Tifa was a virgin. "Tifa, are you certain?"

"Huh?" Her naiveté was painfully endearing.

Then again, I wasn't exactly experienced either. I had entertained a few girlfriends here and there during my life, but never once had I kept them long enough to take them to my bed. Nor had I honestly wanted to. I had some romantic notion of waiting until I could be with someone I honestly loved. That had damned me to abstinence for twenty-seven years.

I wanted her to feel that she had a way out. "Are you certain you want to be with me?"

Her trembling worsened, and her voice was hushed. "Yes, I do."

I gazed into her eyes, looking for any sign of uncertainty. "You honestly wish to waste your first time with me?"

Tifa was apparently shocked at my perception. "How do you know?"

I let my hand leave her cheek and go beneath her chin, and I found myself staring at her lips. I would confess to my inexperience, hoping that it would alleviate some of her fear. "Subtle signs. However, you need not feel self-conscious about the fact. It's refreshing to know that there are others who have made it into their twenties without ever having done it."

Her eyes went wide. "What?"

"Aside fromm Hojo forcing his way upon me, I've never…" I turned away from her as I felt a deep blush come to my face.

Tifa's expression was amusing. "Wait, you were twenty-seven years old, a Turk, and you're a virgin?"

I smiled a little. I had been an outcast as a Turk, I'm not above admitting that. More than once had my fellow Turks paid prostitutes to try and…entertain me, but never had I acquiesced. For that, I was proud. I had saved myself for someone I loved, and if all went well-- and yes, things rarely did-- I would get to share that first experience with Tifa. God, I hoped to share that experience with Tifa. "It isn't a job requirement or any such thing. I was ridiculed by my fellow Turks for my lack of cavorting, I will admit."

There was no hint of doubt in her countenance. Tifa knew that I was speaking the truth. "Okay."

I still had my hand beneath her chin and I moved closer to her, deciding to see how she would react to being kissed. I know we'd done that a few times, but there was a completely different feeling in the air now. As my lips met hers, she placed her hands upon my face, urging me closer. Her lips parted and I was welcomed in, this time daring to go deeper than I had before. My tongue danced against hers and I dropped my hand from her chin and placed it behind her back, coaxing her body closer to mine.

After a few minutes, I sat back and examined her. There was a flush upon her neck and face, and her eyes were only half opened. Her expression spoke more to me than any words in that moment could ever have. I reached up and pulled my headband away, allowing my hair to fall freely. I wasn't doing it in any attempt to hide this time, it was just that all of the fabric upon my body suddenly seemed terribly constricting.

Tifa seemed far more enthralled with this simple action than I ever would have anticipated. In a heartbeat, her hands were wrapped up in my locks, and I closed my eyes as the novel sensation of someone playing amongst my tresses got the better of me. I was suddenly very glad that I hadn't cut it since coming out of stasis, although I'd been tempted to do so a few times. For lack of a better term, Tifa seemed to be in hog heaven.

How she could be this taken with me I had no earthly idea, and I opened my eyes a little and looked over at her.

"I've never seen anyone like you," she whispered to me, trailing her hands to my shoulders. "You're amazing."

I looked away, not accustomed to such commentary. Oh, there had been claims by the others that there indeed was no one else like me, but it wasn't said in the same spirit as what Tifa meant. I felt her hands upon my face shortly thereafter as she bade me to look at her.

"Vincent, at some point you're going to have to accept that I'm not lying to you." Her eyes were glowing with a fire that I'd not seen before.

"I know you're not, it's just that I cannot understand someone being interested in me. No one has ever been." I noticed that my voice sounded strained, and it made me cringe inwardly. I wasn't coming off as the epitome of confident masculinity for her. Then again, if she'd wanted that, Tifa wouldn't have ever been drawn to me in the first place. She would be next door with Cid. That was a horrifying thought. I quelled my reaction to my own mind's words.

Tifa seemed eager to show me how interested she was and I found myself kissing her once more and her hands were again drawn to my hair. I was already painfully aroused and the motions of my mouth became more aggressive as I hinted with my tongue what I wanted our bodies to be doing.

Then, a peculiar thought came to my mind. We were sitting upon Aeris' bed. Now, I knew full well that Cloud had been in this very place with the deceased girl behind Tifa's back and I wasn't well for that. I had to get up from the bed. "Tifa…"

She looked up at me, not understanding. "What, Vincent?"

I went and sat upon her bed. "I don't think that we should be on Aeris' bed, that's all."

Tifa laughed. I think she'd figured that I'd moved away from her as some prelude to leaving. She got up and walked over to me, and I held out my right hand toward her as she approached. I pulled her to me and she easily fell forward. I found myself on my back with Tifa lying atop me. Things went flying from the bed and to the floor as this happened, but that was not my primary concern.

The feeling of her body against mine was exquisite. I offered her the most sincere smile that I can ever remember giving. She reciprocated my expression before moving to kiss me once again. My arms, both real and metal, found their way behind her back, holding her to me and increasing the friction between us. Tifa seemed to take notice of my physical state and sighed against my lips as she brought her legs up to straddle me, placing where I wished to join her body over the focus of my anticipation. I couldn't suppress the sound that escaped me as she rocked her hips against mine.

I pushed her back so I could search her eyes once more. There were going to be few chances to back out from here forward. I licked my lips before daring to speak. "I'm not going to be able to stop if we go much further."

"I don't want you to stop…ever." Her voice was little more than a breathless whisper, and she drove her hips downward upon me once more, shattering the last of my resistance.

I gently pushed her off of me and placed my body upon hers, before invading her mouth as my pent up passion got the better of me. Without giving it any thought, my body moved against hers, desperate for contact. Tentatively, I let my right hand come up and lightly trail over the swell of her chest, wanting to see what her reaction to this would be.

Tifa groaned quietly and moved beneath me, in apparent approval of this touch. I let my mouth stray from hers and down her neck, inhaling deeply against her skin, intoxicated by the scent of her body. There was no flaw that I could find in her.

She arched her back, signaling me to do more. I gave in to one of my more base male desires at that point and pulled up her shirt, giving me my first look at one of the concealed portions of her body.

As anyone who has ever laid eyes upon her knows, Tifa is more than ample in the way of her physical endowments. I took in all that I could of her, purring in my satisfaction. No artificial, silicone implanted body could ever have measured up to what I had offered up before me. I closed my eyes and lowered down, daring to explore what was displayed to me with my lips.

My mouth first was upon Tifa's left breast. As I experimentally nipped at her flesh carefully, she moved beneath me more, and entangled her hands within my hair, keeping me in place. I then moved to the other side of her chest, this time drawing the peak of her breast through my lips, toying with it gently with my tongue, and for this I was rewarded with a lusty moan. I seemed to be pleasing her in some way. However, I knew that this wasn't where it was going to end and I pulled away after a while, lying beside her.

Tifa then made her first moves to tease me. Her hands unbuckled both of my belts in a few concise motions. This was maddening and I felt my body shaking as I anticipated the first time her hands would make contact with my hardened flesh.

My pants were undone within a few short seconds, and one of her delicate hands slipped beneath the fabric of my boxers, grazing against me. She then grasped me firmly, and drove her hand down my length, only stopping when she met my body.

In my over excited state, this was almost more than I could bear. I threw my head back, unable to quelsh the groan that burned in my throat. I quickly took my right hand and clutched her wrist, fearing that anymore stroking by her would prove to be too much. The last thing I wished to do was ruin my chance at our first physical encounter because of my inability to maintain control for any reasonable amount of time.

I pulled Tifa's hand up to my mouth and placed a kiss upon it. I met her gaze, somewhat embarrassed at myself. "Careful…"

She offered me a smile and a nod, seeming to understand.

I allowed my right hand to land upon her leg, and moved it up inch by inch. It was eventually beneath the hem of her skirt and Tifa thrust her hips up, seeming to implore me to do as I wished. My hand worked its way beneath all the barriers of clothing that separated us. I touched her cautiously, not yet knowing how much was too much for her. There was such heat coming from her…I can't honestly explain it. My fingers parted her and I found that as they ran over the small knot of flesh above her entrance, that her entire body seemed to respond and she moaned again, this time louder than before. I lingered there for a few minutes before moving my hand slightly lower. One of my fingers then found its way inside of her and I watched her reaction to this.

Tifa cried out as I carefully thrust at her with my hand. I kissed Tifa again, and her hips came up off of the bed, inviting me to go deeper within. She groaned into my mouth, making my arousal come to the point of painfulness. I knew I couldn't wait much longer, but a realization came to my mind regarding the situation.

I pulled back from her and looked down into her eyes, as I withdrew my hand.

"Vincent?" she called up to me, looking disappointed that I'd stopped.

We may have been caught up in the moment, but I was well aware of the potential ramifications of what we were close to doing. I knew that if nothing else, Tifa probably had no designs on being a mother at any point in the near future, and certainly not of a child of mine. I pushed aside my cowardice and managed to get out the one word I had to. "Pr…protection?"

Tifa smiled that shy smile of hers. "It's all right, I've been on the pill for a few years."

My relief over that answer was probably more than obvious. Yet, I had one more thing to ask. "Tifa…are you ready?"

There was absolutely no hesitation in her response. "Yes."

When you get right down to it, I'm a male. I didn't need to be told twice. I sat up quickly and removed everything that I still had on, needing to be free of my clothing. I don't think I've ever stripped that fast before in my life-- not even before my Chaos transformations.

That done, I resumed my previous pose upon the bed, lying on my side and watching as Tifa shed the rest of her outfit. I was more than a little self-conscious in that moment.

Yes, I'd been in locker rooms before and I'd seen other males and comparatively, I figured that I was potentially above average. Then again, every once in a while, you'd see males in those situations who put everyone to shame and seemed to enjoy it, never bothering to have the decency to throw a towel around their waist to spare the rest of us. There was one such person aboard this ship, and it drove me up the wall. I cursed under my breath every time I went to the communal showers aboard the ship and found said person there. All I have to say is that the taunts toward us 'puny white boys' got old. Fast. Some people need to learn limits, but I digress. I'm delaying getting on with the tale, and for that, I apologize.

Tifa returned to my side, examining me briefly and seeming to accept what she saw. I, in turn, admired her as well. She was strong and athletic, but possessed enough substance to her body as to give her the curves that a woman just isn't a woman without. I've never been one much for that whole waif look, I suppose. I want my lover to look like a woman, not a fourteen-year-old boy, if it's all the same to everyone else.

And Tifa definitely looked like a woman.

I moved to kiss her, feeling her still trembling as was I. As the kiss deepened, I pulled myself atop her, supporting myself as much as possible upon my elbows, not wishing to crush her.

Tifa's legs moved, allowing my hips to sink between her thighs. We were close-- so damned close.

My lips went to explore her neck as I awaited her final sign of permission. Tifa didn't make me wait long.

"Vincent, please, I want you."

I moved to look down into her eyes, seeing the emotion and lust that burned there, and it was for me. Tifa was there all for me. I took my right hand and reached downward so that I could find my way into Tifa's body easily. Once situated, I dared to push forward, going ever so slowly, terrified that I would harm her.

I hadn't finished my drive in when she bucked up beneath me, crying out and holding onto me with all she had. I quit moving and as her head lulled back, I gazed down into her eyes, needing to know from her what I needed to do. "Are…you all right?"

She nodded, the expression of pain fading. Tifa's eyes fluttered close and she sat up slightly, so that her lips were close to my ear. In a pleading and impassioned voice, she let me know exactly. "Oh God, Vincent, fuck me…"

To be honest, I nearly lost it right then and there, but I suppressed that primal release by some small miracle. The softness and heat inside of her enveloped me, making me little more than an animal intent on the act. I kissed her again and couldn't help but growl as I finished my first thrust, and followed it with another, until I'd settled into a slow rhythm.

With each move I made, Tifa's gasps and moans escalated, signaling to me that I was doing things right. Her hands clutched my back, her nails digging in on occasion, but the pain was instantly translated into pleasure.

Everything else ceased to exist for me while our bodies were together like that. My past didn't matter, the mission we were on faded away. Tifa was my entire universe and that was all that I wanted.

I could feel something beginning to happen as Tifa's body began to constrict around me. Her cries got louder and she threw her head back, allowing me to kiss her neck once more.

Then, she said the impossible.

"Vincent…I love you…"

I froze-- I literally froze. I found myself lost in her eyes, wondering if I'd perhaps misheard her. "What?"

Tifa became frantic at the cessation of my motions. "No! Don't stop!"

I couldn't just let it go. "What did you say, Tifa?"

She gazed back at me, the lust momentarily pushed aside by something else, something that I didn't recognize. "I love you."

__

Tifa's just caught up in the moment. It was merely said in the heat of passion, don't read anything else into it! my mind implored me, yet I didn't honestly feel that it was that simple. At least, I hoped that it wasn't that simple. Then again, with my past luck, that's what it most likely was. I needed her to know that I didn't want that particular phrase uttered unless it was done in absolute sincerity. My heart couldn't stand it otherwise. "Don't say things like that."

"I do, Vincent." Tifa's hands came up and framed my face. "I love you and I don't want you to stop."

Then again, I'd been wrong before and sometimes, I'd been a downright idiot. What business did I have doubting anything that Tifa said to me? "Do…do you honestly?"

"Oh God, Vincent, I do," Tifa called up to me, her eyes indicating that this was nothing but the heart felt truth.

I wondered when the dream would end and I would wake up alone in my bed. Tifa loved me. She didn't just want to talk to me, she didn't just want to be my friend, and apparently she wanted more than for us just to be…intimate partners. Tifa didn't want me, she _loved_ me.

And as I've already admitted, I loved her in return. Now, I was able to confess it to her. "Tifa, I love you, too."

I know it's cliché to say that time stood still or any such thing, but I swear to you that it did. We remained there unmoving, our bodies as one, staring into one another's eyes.

Then, I moved to kiss her again and could no longer hold back from thrusting into her anymore. That's when I felt her well-muscled legs come up to be placed around my waist.

With that, Tifa's groans became outright screams, broken up with her repeated declaration of her love for me. Her body did the most wonderful thing in that moment as she was satisfied, and she contracted firmly and repeatedly around my length. That was more than I could take, but as I let go within her, I felt Chaos stir. Through the ecstasy of my climax, I had to fight the demon within me, feeling a burn in my back as his wings threatened to erupt. I drove that monster into submission and unconsciously, I stabbed into the pillow beneath Tifa's head with my left hand, hopelessly ruining it.

Shortly thereafter, and overwhelming peace came over me and I reluctantly withdrew from my beloved and lay down beside her. A complete feeling of exhaustion enshrouded me and I looked into Tifa's eyes. "Tifa?"

She rolled onto her side and draped an arm across my waist. "Yeah?"

I kissed her gently in my gratitude over her acceptance. "Thank you."

Tifa smiled. "That's sort of a weird thing to say after sex, Vincent."

"Perhaps, I wouldn't know." I grinned in return. Still, I needed just one more affirmation from her. "But, did you mean it?"

"Yes, Vincent, I love you. Accept it."

"Why?" I asked. It was a less than well thought out response on my part.

Tifa growled in frustration. "Because I do."

I knew better than to keep pushing her, lest I drive her to the realization that I'm probably not all that mentally stable. Besides, putting my own insecurities onto her wasn't fair. She loved me, and deep down, I knew that she wasn't toying with me.

I offered her a smile and a light kiss upon her lips. "I love you, too."


	6. Chapter 6

It's Just Trash

Chapter 6

We remained there beside one another for some time, staring silently into each other's eyes. There was nothing that we needed to say in those moments. It was enough that Tifa was just there with me and that I knew the truth. I could have lingered there indefinitely, however, as was so often the case aboard the ship, there were other things to be dealt with.

"Get your asses on deck. We're hittin' Midgar today before headin' north," demanded our pilot through the intercom.

It seemed that Cid had a knack for knowing how to ruin a moment.

"Damn it," Tifa huffed, rolling her eyes.

I sat up and moved to retrieve my clothing. "We need to go, lest they become suspicious."

Tifa was standing and picking her clothes up off the floor. "Suspicious? Come on, I don't give a rip what they think, anymore."

While I appreciated what she was willing to face if our relationship became public knowledge, I was reluctant to let that happen. As I dressed, I looked over at her. "Yes, but do you not recall how angry you became this morning? If they had evidence of what was transpiring between us, it would escalate."

Tifa spun to face me, already fully clothed. "Do you honestly think they aren't going to notice something at some point? Why hide it, Vincent? I'm proud to be with you. I don't want to have to go around pretending that we barely know each other!"

I was deeply touched by her bravery and resolve, but I wasn't willing to resign my reservations about the situation. I went to her and placed my right hand beneath her chin. "And I couldn't be happier myself, but I don't want their taunts to cause you pain. I couldn't stand the notion of being the reason that you were mistreated."

There was a flame that flashed behind her eyes. "I'll fight for you, Vincent. I don't care. After this is all over and done with…we can leave them and never have to deal with any of them or their crap again. We'll be free."

Tifa closed the distance between us and put her arms around my waist, letting the side of her face rest against my chest. I still hadn't buttoned up my shirt, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensation of her against me.

Her faith in some sort of future beyond our mission was bittersweet. Yes, I wanted there to be something for us other than just the upcoming fight, but I knew the odds were greatly out of our favor. At the very least, I was determined to fight to the death, knowing that the upcoming battle would, in a way, serve as purgatory for me. Before Tifa had shown any interest in me, I had honestly resolved to die in the fight, win or lose for AVALANCHE, I had possessed no intention of surviving. However, with the revelation that Tifa loved me, my plans needed to change. I wanted to live so that she and I could try and scrape together some sort of acceptable existence. Yet, the thought of our final battle for the Planet against Sephiroth made my hackles rise. Intrinsically, I knew that it was going to go badly for me. Thus seemed to be the will of the universe, something for which I had little defense.

Tifa stepped back from me. "Vincent?"

I brought my gaze to meet hers. "Yes?"

"What's wrong?" she asked, her expression reflecting her concern.

There was no way that I was going to burden her with my conjecture regarding the struggle we were facing. I offered Tifa a smile and moved away from her. "It's nothing. Come on, we need to get going."

I know that her eyes never left me as I turned, buttoned my shirt, tied my headband back on and threw my cloak around my shoulders. Thusly prepared and looking my usual manner, I went to the door. I glanced back at Tifa. "I'm going to go. Don't follow immediately."

I then stepped out before Tifa said anything, knowing that if she did so, I wouldn't be able to leave her side. I myself wanted nothing more than to be able to walk with her hand in mine through the ship, resistant to the commentary regarding us doing so, but that just wasn't the way it was.

I headed up to the bridge, for the most part being ignored. Cid was at the helm, and when he finished his cigarette, he let it fall to the floor, before looking over at me. "Look what the fuckin' cat dragged in."

Nanaki growled from where he was sitting by the window. "I did no such thing. He walked here."

I cocked an eyebrow and sighed, going over and standing near the lion, looking out at whatever was holding his attention. As my eyes scanned the scenery, I heard Nanaki laugh quietly. I turned to look down at him.

The cat switched his tail from side to side behind him, never turning his gaze away from the outside. In a tone barely audible, he spoke. "It's about time, Valentine. I hope it was…pleasant."

I quickly faced the window again, feeling that I needed to hide my outright grin from the others. I reached over and patted the cat on the head. "Very pleasant."

Nanaki pushed his head against my hand harder, indicating that he wanted me to scratch him behind the ear. I complied, honored that he wanted me to touch him like that. Generally, the lion only let Tifa scratch or pet him. I suppose it was his way of showing me that he was comfortable with my presence. I genuinely appreciated the gesture.

The cat began to purr. "Good. You needed it."

"I most certainly did," I laughed to myself quietly.

Cid then banked the ship so that we could finally see Midgar up ahead. What I saw caught my attention and my hand fell away from Nanaki and returned to my side. The cat didn't seem to notice the cessation of my petting, as he, too, was mesmerized by the spectacle.

Midgar was in the distance, its probable fate hanging in the sky above it. Meteor looked incredibly unnatural, suspended above the metropolis. How something of such mass could be loitering in the air like that was perplexing and beyond comprehension. Gravity no longer seemed to apply to the laws of physics. It was as though there was a precarious balancing act going on between the city and the fireball that could be broken at any moment, sending Meteor careening downward. We had been in Cosmo Canyon shortly before this, and Nanaki's caretaker had informed us that it would be only a matter of days before Midgar and the Planet's collective luck ran out and Meteor fell. Seeing it like this, however, I didn't see how it could hold out any longer.

I felt Tifa's presence suddenly come up beside me, between the cat and I. When I felt her hand brush against mine, I clutched it. For the time being, I knew that everyone's attention was upon Midgar and not us. Besides, I could feel the fear and tension coming from Tifa, and I knew that I had to comfort her in some manner and this seemed to be the best I could do for the moment.

"Well fuck, screw it, let's head north. We don't have time to circle jerk any more," Cid said in his usual colorful way.

For once, I have to say that I couldn't have put it better. We needed to get our mission over with.

However, Yuffie protested. "No! I'm going to Wutai one last time before jumping into that crater on some suicide mission!"

It was like listening to my talons upon a chalkboard. That's what I equate Yuffie's voice to. I apologize if anyone finds that offensive, but it is my take on her phonation.

Barrett spoke up as well. "Yeah, an' I wanna see Marlene."

I wondered how much of this was just a desire on their parts to delay the inevitable. I, for one, just wished for us to go and finish. Procrastination hadn't served me all that well in my past. However, if there was to be a brief intermission between now and our mission, there was something that I felt I should do. I did not cast my vote one way or another, though. It was up to the others.

"God damn it! We don't have time! Look out there!" Cid threw his arm toward the window, his frustration with everything boiling over. "That thing ain't gonna wait for us to take walks down memory lane!"

Once more, I tended to agree with Highwind. That made two times in less than five minutes. The world was ending, this was surely a sign of the apocalypse.

"We have enough time to go say our good byes, Highwind," Nanaki said, moving away from the window and turning to face our pilot.

Cid placed his hands upon his hips, maintaining his discontented air. Yet, there was something within him that managed to show through it. He was wavering in his determination to just go. "I'm flyin' this mother to the crater. I'll give it two days, and if everyone ain't back by then, we're goin' in without you."

I knew what it was. I smiled inwardly as I realized that Cid was giving himself just enough time to go back and see Shera. I thought fleetingly about that woman. She was meek and timid, and terribly mismatched with Cid. He walked on her and treated her like dirt. With as sweet as she was and with how she let his constant running commentary about her value as a woman slide off her back, I couldn't help but wonder if someday Shera would snap. There was a good likely hood that when that happened, her picture would be on the cover of some tabloid, as it prattled on regarding the gruesome details of how she one day decided to take a pair of pruning shears and relieve Cid of his manhood. Either that, or she'd take one of Cid's own spears and run him through. I think I rather like the former, though.

I realized that I was still holding onto Tifa's hand and I let it go. The others, no longer looking at Midgar, would have noticed soon had I not relinquished my grip upon her.

Cid huffed and went back to the helm, coaxing the airship to face away from Midgar. He was getting us on our way north.

Tifa turned back to face the window once more, seeming to resign to what was happening. I remained at her side, and heard the others leaving the bridge.

Quietly, I asked her, "And what will you do?"

Tifa looked up at me. "I've got nothing to do. I guess I'll just stay on the ship."

Staying with her there alone on the empty airship for two days was beyond appealing, however, there was something that I felt obligated to do, since I'd been provided with the time. Still, it hurt me to tell her that I had to leave. "I will come back as quickly as I can, Tifa."

Her lips pulled down into a frown. "I'll go with you."

I kept my eyes fixed out into the distance. It broke my heart to have to refuse her offer. "No, stay with the ship. I have to do something alone. It's nothing you would be interested in."

"I don't want to be left here alone!" she shot back, causing me to immediately know that she'd caught Cid's attention with her outburst.

I heard Cid walk up behind us. "What in the hell's going on with you two?"

I locked up, not willing to have this discussion with Cid of all people.

Tifa tried to defuse the situation and turned to face the pilot. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," Cid snapped back. He may have been an ass, but he wasn't stupid. If nothing else, despite his backward and foul-mouthed ways, the man was sharp. "I heard you two going at it, my room is next to yours."

Tifa looked over at me, and I turned to face Cid. I hid my contempt for him and the situation at hand. "The lady said nothing, Highwind."

Cid's demeanor instantly shifted, and he looked around behind him, making certain that the three of us were indeed alone. His hands retreated into his pockets and he couldn't bring himself to look at either Tifa or myself. "Look, you guys gotta do what you gotta do. Tiff, I'm sorry for screwin' with you this morning. If you all are happy, then fuck it."

I was shocked to say the least, and so was Tifa. She replied, "Th…thanks, Cid."

I have never seen someone look so unduly distressed with embarrassment and awkwardness. Cid's face was awash in color. "Yeah well, I saw how upset you got this morning, and I…I realized that you must really care so, who the hell am I to hound you for it? I like you, Tiff, I don't want you to hate me or think that I'm a fuckin' jerk."

Tifa reached forward and touched Cid's arm lightly. "That means a lot."

In that moment, I realized something that I don't think Tifa ever figured out. For whatever it was worth, Cid was in love with her. That's the reason that he treated her differently than everyone else on the ship. Perhaps he didn't know it himself, but that's what it boiled down to, and that's what was going to force him to begin showing me some respect. Cid knew that he'd never had a chance with her, but he wasn't willing to risk losing his friendship with her if nothing else. Even at the cost of having to accept me and our relationship.

Cid met my gaze and then reached out a hand toward me, his expression looking pained. "Take good care of her."

I accepted his handshake, some of my past distaste for him fading and being replaced, in part, with pity. "I will."

"Good enough. Your secret's safe with me. I don't want Cloud having an aneurysm or anything." Cid needed to escape the situation and turned from us to go back to the helm. I noticed the regretful look that he flashed back at Tifa as he did so. "Now go do whatever in the hell it is you're gonna do. Just…keep it down. I don't need to hear that shit."

Tifa laughed, thinking that he was trying to joke around to break the tension, not realizing that as she did so, it cut right through the pilot's heart. I saw the way he hung his head before turning and placing his hands upon the wheel of the ship again.

The fact that Cid was capable of such feelings was endearing in a way, I suppose, and I suspect that I may have smiled. I turned my gaze back to Tifa and decided that we had nothing to lose. I took possession of her hand and left the bridge with her at my side. Although no one saw us as we headed toward my room, it felt incredible to go through the ship with her like that. Openly displaying my affection for her without the fear of what others would say was something I realized I could get used to.

Once before the door to my room, I hesitated for a moment. This room was occupied by a single male and an animal. It was a dismal mess within and I wasn't entirely certain that I wanted Tifa to witness the slovenly state of the interior. "You need not come in."

Tifa didn't get it. She thought I was trying to keep her out in case someone saw her going in with me. "No one's around to notice."

Then again, she'd been in Cloud's room, and I'd seen the inside of his quarters before and knew that in the way of filth, his place put mine to shame. I consented to let her in with me. "Very well."

While I went forward to begin gathering what I wished to take along with me on my trip, Tifa hesitated over by the door. I wondered what she was thinking of the scene, and I regretted the fact that I never bothered to make my bed. Ultimately, I saw no point in doing so. Then again, compared to what Nanaki's bed looked like, resplendent with his fur amongst the tattered sheets and blankets, mine didn't seem quite so disgusting.

She broke the silence that had fallen over us. "Most guys have pictures of chicks hanging by their beds."

I looked back over her. I wondered about how sane what I was about to confess was. "I've got a picture."

She seemed to doubt this and crossed her arms. "Oh really? Show me."

I obliged and sat on my bed. I gripped the edge of my ammunition chart and raised it up, exposing the picture I'd found of her, apparently abandoned upon the bridge a few weeks before.

Tifa came closer and leaned over me, looking at her own image. She seemed surprised. "Vincent, how long have you had that picture?"

The fact was that I'd found the picture just a day after being brought onto the airship suddenly seemed wrong. As I've mentioned, however, I'd been attracted to her from the outset, and I hadn't been able to resist taking this photograph as my own upon finding it.

And when I say that I'd been attracted to her from the outset, I mean the very moment that I'd been awakened from stasis. When the lid to my box had been pushed up, I had awakened and opened my eyes, finding myself staring up at two people. One was Cloud who I basically ignored, and the other had been Tifa. Cloud had spoken to me in an attempt to coax me out, but I'd refused. The lid was closed and I fell asleep once more. Then, it was opened for a second time a short while later, and that time, it was just Cloud. Once more, I refused.

Then came the third time.

I opened my eyes, a string of annoyed obscenities coming to mind, but then I saw that it was Tifa-- and Tifa alone. The others had resolved to leave me there, but she had lingered, opting to give it one more try. She took the time to explain the entire situation to me as I listened silently, staring at her, studying her just as much as the tale she was telling me. Once Tifa had finished the story, I had nodded without saying a thing and rose up from the box. Tifa had seemed thrilled with her success, and I followed her out and into daylight for the first time in nearly three decades. I have my weaknesses, I suppose, and Tifa was one of them.

In any event, I shrugged and answered, "All along."

She threw her arms around me and nuzzled against my neck. "Aw…"

I was suddenly self-conscious about the situation and I'll be damned if I didn't find myself stir with arousal again. "If you had known that was there before now you would have been disturbed, I would imagine."

Tifa giggled and sat beside me. "Why?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her naiveté. "Not that I have, but why do males generally have pictures of females by their beds?"

She made a quirky expression at me, seeming to be amused. "Vincent…I can't see you doing _that_!"

"I said I haven't," I defended myself. I glanced at the picture once more before allowing the chart to fall back over the photograph. "I've been sleeping with a giant carnivore in the room, I would be…pressed to perform under the circumstances."

She laughed at me again as I rose from the bed and went over to my locker. "You're hilarious."

"I'm merely stating the truth, Tifa." It was funny, however. I reached into my locker and pulled out my favorite weapon, opting to take it with me on my trip.

Tifa's mood changed, and she seemed to grow sad. "Vincent?"

I looked over at her, wondering what was on her mind.

"Where are you going?"

I wasn't exactly certain how much I wanted to tell her. I had secrets that no one in AVALANCHE knew. "To pay my respects."

"You're not going back to that cave, right?" Tifa asked, her face betraying her anxiety.

I knew the cave in question, and I had absolutely no compulsion to ever return there. "No."

"Then where?" Tifa came over to me.

I swallowed hard. I couldn't lie to Tifa. "I've not said goodbye to my brother."

"Your brother?" She seemed confused.

I went and took her into my arms. "My brother, Tifa."

"When did he die?" Tifa gazed into my eyes, searching for answers.

I put it simply. "In the Temple." My eyes closed. "Sephiroth killed him."

Tifa moved back from me. "Well, we saw Tseng… Oh my God, Vincent? Was Tseng..?"

I gave her a nod and then turned away from her, as I felt a sting in my eyes. "Yes."

"I didn't know…" Tifa's voice wavered.

I feel the need at this point to stop the story and explain myself.

Yes, Tseng was my brother, well, my half brother in any event. If you are agreeable, I will relate the story of our family.

We shared the same mother, who had been a Wutain. At the time of my conception, there was one of many conflicts that took place between Shinra and Wutai taking place. My mother was no more than fifteen years of age then.

One day, while out in the forest gathering various wild greens, she stumbled upon a Shinra airship that had been shot down. Amongst the debris, she found an injured seventeen-year-old SOLDIER named Joseph Vincent Valentine. Knowing that if she tried to seek assistance for the badly wounded man he would have simply ended up in a prison camp, she was determined to help him on her own. She knew of an abandoned shack in the forest and she somehow managed to get him there. For several days, she brought him food and water, and tended to his injuries as best she was able.

Days turned into weeks, and he slowly began to recuperate. During this time, they came to fall in love, and during one of her daily visits to him, I was conceived.

In any event, he eventually recovered to the point of being able to leave the forest. Although his sense of duty demanded that he rejoin his unit, he was determined to keep in contact with my mother. They said their good byes and he returned to the ranks of SOLDIER. He wrote my mother several times, and she responded in turn. However, he never learned that she was pregnant, for on the day she discovered that she was with child, she received a letter from Joseph's best friend, relaying the news that he'd been killed in battle.

Afterward, my mother attempted to hide her pregnancy as best she could, but inevitably, it became obvious to her family. Being an unwed and pregnant fifteen-year-old was unheard of in Wutain culture, and her family resolved that her pregnancy was the result of a rape, taking the shame of consensual sex off of my mother.

However, having seen the way my mother used to talk about my father, I know in my heart that rape played no factor in my creation. She had loved him with every fiber of her being.

Nonetheless, when I was born, her parents demanded that I be given up. Yet, my mother refused, feeling that I was her only remaining link back to the man she had loved. To the further chagrin of her parents, she refused to give me a traditional Wutain name, opting instead to bestow upon me the name Vincent Valentine, in memoriam of my father. Why she dropped Joseph from the name is merely a matter of the difficulty the Wutain tongue has saying that name.

In any event, my mother was basically ostracized from the village she lived in because of the birth of her half-breed son. Still, she worked diligently in the fields, supporting herself and raising me. The majority of her wages left over after food and board went to the private school she managed to enroll me in. She wished above all else to see to it that I was properly educated, hoping that it would help me attain a better station in life than she had achieved.

When I was fifteen, I was found to be of an exceptional level of skill in certain areas, and because of this I was offered a scholarship to a school in Midgar. Eager to give me every possible opportunity, my mother let me go.

No longer having to focus all of her attention on me, my mother was able to begin a social life of her own. Several months later, I received a call from her stating that a wealthy Wutain widower, I apologize for the alliteration, in town had taken an interest in her. From the tone of her voice, I knew that my mother had found happiness and within a year, she had wed this man. Shortly thereafter, she announced to me that she was pregnant.

It was just past my seventeenth birthday when I got word from my mother that she had given birth to my brother. He was named Tseng, and I took a hiatus from my education to come back to Wutai and see him.

Even though I continued to live in Midgar after that, I still made it a point to visit my mother and young brother as often as possible, even spending my summers there. Because of this, I was fortunate enough to develop a good relationship with Tseng, despite our age difference.

When I was twenty-one, I was recruited by Shinra as a potential Turk candidate. Now, having been raised in Wutai, I naturally held certain resentments toward Shinra, however, my father had worked for the military branch of the company and I felt that it wasn't all that bad. Besides, the amount of money I was being offered if I passed all of the testing and became an actual Turk was alluring.

As is common knowledge, I did become a Turk. I remember going back home shortly after my initiation. I was wearing my suit and Tseng had looked up at me, telling me that someday, he was going to be a Turk, too.

And that he did. Not only did he become a Turk, but he'd become the head of the organization. I only learned of this, though, after awaking from stasis, as all of that had taken place during the twenty-seven years I'd been asleep. Even though we ended up on opposing teams, I was proud of him. I knew who he was from the first time I saw him, flanked by Elena and that obnoxious Reno character. I'm not sure if he knew who I was, however. His eyes fixed upon me as we faced off, narrowing. Aside from my hair being long as it now is, I hadn't changed since the last time he'd seen me. Not knowing that I'd been put in stasis, he probably couldn't grasp how it could actually be me since I hadn't aged appropriately. I wish that I'd gotten a chance to speak with him, but it just wasn't meant to be.

When AVALANCHE stumbled upon Tseng bleeding and mortally injured in the Temple, there was little chance for me to say anything to him. Tseng managed a few words to our group, and then let his head fall back. Tseng's eyes landed upon me one final time and a smile came to his lips just before he succumbed to death. I've wondered ever since if it was in that last moment of life that he realized whom I really was.

Again, now that he's gone, I will never honestly know. In any event, back to the story at hand.

"I never mentioned it," I told Tifa, finally having steeled myself beyond crying. I faced her once more. "Nonetheless, I wish to go pay my respects. The other Turks buried him close to there."

Tifa accepted this and gave me a look of understanding. "Okay, just remember, you promised to come back as quickly as you can."

"I will." I took Tifa into my arms and pulled her close. I pulled down the collar of my cloak and smiled in my gratitude, before kissing her.

A/N-- Well? Is it worth all of this writing? Hmmmm?


	7. Chapter 7

As in Candy Wrapper, this chapter contains some game dialogue. And yeah, the slight smut toward the end of Chapter 7 of that story…well, it's not entirely so slight here.

Good times.

Oh, and sorry for the delay in this update, but I was being tarried by that annoying thing called real life, darn it!

It's Just Trash

Chapter 7

I had my pack readied with my supplies within a few minutes. My traveling needs are fairly simple. I don't like taking extraneous things along with me. After another lingering embrace, we headed out and stepped into the hall. Before I closed the door behind me, I remembered that there was one more thing that I needed to take with me. I looked at Tifa. "I forgot something."

"Well, you're hardly taking anything," she laughed back at me.

I couldn't argue with that, but still, there was something that I felt I needed. I went back in, closing the door behind me and went to my bed. I knelt upon it and reached toward the wall. I pulled the picture of Tifa I had taped to it under the ammo chart off, and smiled at it momentarily before placing it into the pocket within the lining of my cloak. Perhaps I'm more sentimental than I should be, but it was important to me. Tifa and I were alike in that way, I suppose. She with her journal and candy wrappers, I with my picture.

With that stowed away, I rejoined her in the corridor and we made our way to the bridge. The others were all present as well.

Those amassed were in the midst of a conversation.

"Seven more days, that's what Grandfather said." Nanaki was pacing the floor anxiously. It was almost as though there were two versions of Red XIII. There was this, the strong, and pensive warrior that most saw, and then there was the lazing, openly speaking cat that I saw when we were in our room. I was privileged to know both sides of him.

Cloud was standing looking stern, and he flashed a glare toward Tifa and myself. I knew in that moment that he was more savvy as to the situation between Tifa and I than I would have liked. He turned his attention away from us and back toward Nanaki. "Red, you want to see everyone in Cosmo Canyon again?"

"Yes."

Cloud faced Barrett. "You want to see Marlene, right?"

"Don't ask me that," Barrett replied flatly, clearly uncomfortable with the query.

I watched Cloud as he began to speak about the possibility of failure and of death. He seemed unmoved by the chance of dying, and I realized that I was looking upon a man who felt he had nothing to live for, win or lose. I'd felt that way once myself, and it was no way to exist.

Barrett retorted, displaying his discontentment over Cloud's apparent self-doubt. The man was never one to hold back with his honest thoughts about things. That was something you could rely upon from Barrett. If he perceived you as an idiot or wrong, you would quickly be informed as such.

Cloud locked gazes with him, his exhaustion with the simple act of living obvious. "No, what I meant was… What are we all fighting for? I want us all to understand that. Save the Planet, for the future of the Planet-- sure, that's all fine, but really, is that how it is?"

At that point, I noticed that Cloud turned and faced Tifa, who was at my side. His lips pulled downward into a pained frown, as he made some sort of internal resolution regarding the woman next to me. "For me, this is a personal feud. I want to beat Sephiroth, and settle my past. Saving the Planet just happens to be a part of that. I've been thinking, and I think we're all fighting for ourselves. For ourselves, and that someone…something…whatever it is, that's important to us. That's what we're fighting for. That's why we keep up this battle for the Planet."

Tifa shifted the way she was standing beside me, taking some meaning from what Cloud was saying.

And I, too, knew what he was saying. He had just made it clear to everyone that he was fighting for Aeris and Aeris alone. Nothing else mattered to him. Sadly, his reason for fighting may have given him the drive to fight with ferocity, but when it was all said and done, either with him in the glory of victory, or in the death throws of defeat, his reason for fighting, Aeris, would still be dead. Cloud was battling for a memory, for that was all that Aeris was now. I knew that this was not the way to carry on. I had tried fighting for a memory and I had failed. Only after that had I realized that if I'd fought for Lucrecia before she had perished, that my resolve to save her would have been stronger, and events would have unfolded differently. In short, Cloud was on his way down a path that would lead him to a life of guilt and suffering. That was a fate I wanted no one to ever suffer.

As Barrett broke the brief silence, I found myself still rapt up in my thoughts. Cloud had set me to thinking. Before I had Tifa at my side, before my love for her had been confessed, I, like Cloud, had been fighting for only a memory. I had been carrying on merely acting in behalf of Lucrecia's former life. Yes, I had come far in these last three weeks, but had I been fighting for something real, tangible, _alive_, well, I would have done far better. Now, such a thing was standing just a short distance to my right.

My reason for fighting wasn't Lucrecia anymore. She was dead, and she cared not about what was transpiring.

My reason for fighting was Tifa. If we failed, her young and beautiful spark of life would be eradicated from the Planet. That would be the true tragedy of failure. I couldn't let that happen, even at the cost of my own life. If I had to perish so that she could go on, then that was a sacrifice I was willing to make, and it was a far better reason to die than for the memory of a ghost.

I noticed that the others were moving from the bridge, and I realized that I'd failed to pay any attention whatsoever to the latter portion of their conversation. I had become absorbed in my own thoughts and had only been brought out of them when I felt Tifa's eyes upon me. "Vincent?"

I came back to the present and met her gaze. "Tifa?"

"I guess you should get on your way," she said, her voice laced with regret.

To say that I felt bad for basically abandoning her for what would prove to be a day or two would have been an understatement. I offered her a faint smile and slung my pack over my shoulder and took her hand in my right. We left the ship.

Once we were a good distance away, I turned and placed my arms around her. "Tifa, is there no where you wish to go while you have this chance?"

Her eyes dimmed with the promise of tears and she shook her head. "Everything that I care about, except for you, is gone. My family is dead, my home destroyed. I've got nothing, Vincent."

I flipped open the buckles to my cloak, knowing that it would make our upcoming farewell kiss easier-- not that my mind was stuck on such a thing. Again, the feeling of remorse I had for leaving Tifa like this washed over me. I hoped that she didn't think that I was going to simply vanish. "I will be back, you know that, right?"

In response, she nodded. I was then offered a candy bar.

I took it and slipped it into the pocket that also held her picture. I couldn't help but smile at her, and then I reached out and pulled her close. My lips met hers and I took my time to savor the kiss, knowing that it would be the last one that I received for a while. Leaving Tifa like this was proving to be the hardest thing that I'd undergone since being awakened from stasis. Eventually, I forced myself to release her and I began to back away.

Tifa remained there, opening her eyes reluctantly after I had retreated a short distance. "Vincent, I love you."

I felt the smile I'd been wearing widen upon hearing what had quickly become my favorite phrase said to my by Tifa. "And I love you, Tifa. Soon."

With my heart heavy, I turned and walked away, knowing that if I didn't leave then, that I wouldn't have been able to go at all. I heard Tifa whisper the simple word, "Soon," behind me, forcing me to go quicker. She was having a profound effect upon me, and that was something that I didn't honestly mind.

I wracked my brain as I walked south, wondering how I was going to get to my destination in the time allotted. I had a good thousand miles to transverse to get to the Temple, and I had no means of transportation.

An hour passed and I found myself standing before an inland bay. Sitting on the beach was a craft of some sort, with a young man sitting next to it in the sand. I began to think of a plan and decided to act.

I walked up toward the man and vehicle, examining it in my curiosity as I neared. I'd never seen such a craft in my life, and wondered what it was.

The young man noticed my approach and got up, brushing the sand from his jeans. "Hey there."

I put forth my most non-threatening air. "Hello. Can I ask what this is?"

He was no more than nineteen years of age, with shoulder length dark hair and piercing green eyes. After glancing back over his shoulder at the machine, he met my gaze. "Yeah, it's a hovercraft."

"And how long would it take such a vehicle, if it were capable, of going say, from here to the Temple of the Ancients in the south?" I asked, trying to seem harmless.

"Five hours," he said, nonchalantly.

I probably cocked an eyebrow, not believing that he could possess something capable of transversing such a distance in just a few hours. "A thousand miles in five hours?"

The boy outright laughed at me. "One thousand miles south, yeah, that's no big deal, Mister."

Now, you must understand, I had been out of circulation for nearly thirty years. In my day, vehicles that were reliable, fast, and able to make a trip over that distance in such a short amount of time were unheard of, at least, such things were never owned by ordinary people. Yet, this was exactly what I needed and had stumbled upon. "How difficult is it to operate?"

He laughed at me once more. "Hell, it's simple enough. It pretty much drives like a car, but can go right over land or water. You get the best speed over water, though."

"So, one who has never navigated such a craft would be able to do so if they knew how to drive?" I openly wondered, needing to know exactly what I was potentially about to get myself into.

"Sure, I've been using this thing since I was fourteen before I ever got my license. My dad owns the company that makes them." The boy looked back at the vehicle again.

In the time he had turned his head to look at the so-called hovercraft and then back at me, I'd drawn my gun and had it aimed squarely at his head. "I apologize, young man, but I need the use of your vehicle. I will return with it in a day or two."

The color drained from the boy's face and his body began to shake. "If…if you steal it, my dad will never forgive me!"

"I intend only to take it to the Temple and then I will return with it. I am not stealing it, per se." I felt inwardly bad about having to threaten the boy, but I saw no alternative.

"Well…I…I can take you there, but I'm sorry, Mister, I'm not letting you steal it." He was far braver than I had anticipated. The boy's resolve was taken note of.

I maintained my aim, not willing to fall into any false sense of complacency. "Take me there?"

"Sure…" He was still trembling. "I…I can take you there, but I'm not letting this ship out of my sight otherwise."

I slowly lowered my weapon, wondering if he was going to try anything. "If you will take me willingly, I will pay you."

He nodded, not taking his eyes from my gun. "Okay…just, don't hurt me, all right?"

It may have been foolish of me to reholster my weapon that quickly, but I did, not wishing to cause the boy any more distress. "Then we need to get going."

"Okay." He moved toward the craft, pulling open the door on the side of it. He disappeared inside and I followed him in.

The interior was roughly the same size as that of a single engine plane. There were two seats up front, and then two more behind them. The boy went forward and sat in the driver's side seat. I went up and landed in the passenger seat to his right.

The boy looked over at me, his eyes still possessing signs of his fear. "Is there any chance that you'll tell me your name?"

I offered him a smile and extended my right hand toward him. "Vincent."

He accepted my handshake. "My name's Porter. Well, actually, it's Joseph Porter, but everyone calls me Porter, I don't know why."

I knew that given different circumstances, I wouldn't have minded having this young man as a friend. He was both timid and brave at the same time. It was an unusual combination of traits. I decided to make the effort of conversing as best I could. "Joseph was my father's name."

"Yeah, it's pretty common." He turned what I assumed to be the ignition, and a roar was heard as the craft's engines fired up. He raised his voice to be heard over the noise. "I guess that's why they started calling me Porter. There were three other Josephs in my school."

I startled a bit and grabbed the arms of the seat I was in as I felt the craft rock slightly and then rise up several inches. As I did so, my left arm became glaringly obvious as I clutched the armrest with it.

Porter's eyes caught sight of my cybernetic limb and went wide. I could see the question that burned in his mind, but he had the tact not to ask and after a few seconds, he diverted his eyes and looked out the windshield. "Five hours, you time it."

Had I any means of telling time, I would have obliged, but I did not. I relaxed as best I could under the circumstances, not used to the sensation of the vehicle's movements.

We were soon underway and gliding over the water. As the craft gained speed, I was awestruck at how fast the water and waves began to pass below us. I could see the speedometer on the instrument panel before Porter and sure enough, it indicated one hundred and ninety-seven miles an hour. He would indeed get me there in around five hours.

Porter kept the conversation going as we went along well. He seemed intelligent enough to refrain from asking me any personal questions, but was more than willing to reveal things about himself. For instance, he told me that he thought being a Turk would be an interesting job, and that he was considering applying with Shinra at some point in the future.

I had listened to this in silence. He was either blissfully unaware of what was looming in the sky over Midgar, or he simply opted to pretend that life was going on as normal, even to the point of daydreaming about the future. Either way, I admired that. To be young, unfettered by the burdens of life like this boy, was something that I missed dearly.

Night fell as we traveled, and my thoughts turned to Tifa. I stared out the window into the darkness, reflecting on the first time she'd come to me up on deck in the night just a few days before to offer me that first candy bar, and where I had first had her collect my trash. I frowned to myself as I thought about that being some sort of symbol of our relationship. She offered me sweetness, and in return, I only had my own battered and used self to offer up. I was trash, cast off by Hojo after my novelty had worn off.

I forced that thought from my mind quickly, though. Tifa wouldn't want me thinking such things about myself. To be honest, she had done wonders for my self esteem in the last several days, and I would try to think better of myself, for her if nothing else.

When I heard the roar of the engines begin to die down, I was snapped from my reverie. I looked over at Porter, and he offered me a smile. "We're there. Five hours, seventeen minutes. Pretty good, huh?"

I got up from my seat. "Very good."

He moved to follow me and soon, we were standing outside of the craft in the night air. I looked around, seeing that we were indeed very close to the Temple. We were on the edge of the forest, in which the Temple once rested. I turned back to Porter and held out my right hand. "I will need the keys to the vehicle, if you don't mind."

"You think I'm going to take off in the night?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "You said you were gonna pay me. There's no way I'm bailing now after coming this far."

"The keys, Porter." I would not run the risk of being abandoned. "You will be paid when we go back. I have around four grand in cash, and it will all be yours."

Porter's eyes went wide and in a heartbeat, he had the keys placed in my right hand. "Okay."

I put the keys into my pack before throwing it back over my shoulder. "I'm going to the Temple. I will be back tomorrow night. Wait for me here, do not follow."

"For that much money, I'll do whatever in the hell you want," he said back to me.

"Good." I turned from him and made my way into the forest.

I've been blessed with a good natural sense of direction, and I was fairly confident that I knew where the Temple was-- or rather, where it had been before collapsing and becoming that God forsaken Black Materia.

I suppose that I walked for nearly two hours before I found the break in the trees that marked the place where the Temple had stood. I knew that Tseng's grave was close by, but that in the darkness, I'd be hard pressed to find it.

My exhaustion got the better of me and I opted just to camp for the night. It was warm enough that I didn't need to go to the trouble of making a fire and I took off my cloak and then pulled the blanket I had stuffed into my pack out and laid it upon the ground. That done, I sat upon it and pulled my cloak over to me. I reached within it and brought out both Tifa's picture as well as the candy bar that she'd gotten me.

I placed her photo before me on the blanket and found myself smiling at it as I pulled the wrapper from my candy and set about consuming it. Knowing that this would be the last thing that I would eat for a day or so, I made certain to take my time with it. The following day I would spend in meditation, fasting at Tseng's graveside, paying my homage to him in our people's usual way. Customarily, it is the eldest living male relative's job to remain with the deceased for the first day after their passing, steeped in meditation, but circumstances had prevented me from doing that. Doing this now was the best I could do, and I felt I owed it to Tseng.

However, that was tomorrow and the night still belonged to me. I finished my candy and then folded the wrapper in two, before placing it back into my cloak pocket. That done, I lay down on my side, and took Tifa's picture, propping it against my pack so that I could see it. I found myself smiling at it and inevitably, my mind turned to that morning's events.

The fact that Tifa had so eagerly and willingly given herself to me still amazed me. I was unable to pull my mind from those thoughts, and my body began to respond as a result. I had an overwhelming compulsion to try and make contact with Tifa and I reached into my pack and pulled out the small radio that I, like all AVALANCHE members, had been provided with. I put it to the frequency of Tifa's radio and gave it a shot.

It cracked to life as she responded to the signal. "Hello?"

I can't express how wonderful it was to hear her voice. "Tifa… I just finished the candy bar you gave me before I left and I had to check up on you."

She giggled in the manner she tended to do. "I just had one, too. It's sort of our thing."

"I suppose." How the mere act of talking to her could be making my present state of arousal as bad as it was getting was beyond me. I had somehow hoped that speaking with her would have helped me to relax, but my male drive seemed unwilling to relent. In the back of my mind, the thought of relieving the tension that was coming over me so that I could sleep began to creep up. As I've said before, I've never been one much for self-gratification, but again, Tifa was having an unusual effect upon me. "I've made it a point to save the wrapper."

Once more, that irresistible laugh of hers came over the air. "Thanks. Hey, how far did you get?"

"I'm there," I said. I got onto my back and passed the radio over into my left hand, freeing up my right. At the very least, I had to adjust my clothing so that my physical state wasn't any more uncomfortable than it was. I went ahead and loosened my belts, and undid the waist to my pants.

Tifa seemed impressed with my ability to get that far away in such a short time. "Wow, that was quick."

Having undone my clothing as I had didn't help my situation, and to be honest, I was now feeling more anxious. I didn't feel compelled to tell her of this or of my trying to steal the hovercraft and so made my reply simple. "I have my ways. What did you do today?"

"Not much. Cloud stayed here, too. I spoke with him a little, and I think we sort of worked things out between us. I think he and I will be able to be friends when this is all said and done." Her voice had a wistful quality to it.

I thought about her being on the airship alone with her former love. I opted not to worry too much about it. Knowing the way she felt about him, thanks to our earlier conversation, I knew that Tifa was not one that I had to wonder about. "Cloud remained there?"

"Yeah, he didn't have anywhere to go, since his whole reason for fighting is Aeris' memory." Tifa's voice indicated to me that she thought I would be unwell for the situation.

I answered honestly. "I'm glad that you got to have this time with him. You two have been an important part of each other's lives for some time." A question came to my mind, since the subject had been brought up. "What are you fighting for, Tifa?"

"F…for a future," came her reply.

With my self-restraint failing, I found myself pushing down my boxers slightly, hoping that the feeling of the cool night air against my skin would get my flesh to calm back down. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. I needed to try and get my mind off of my body's treason. "Tell me about your future, Tifa."

I could hear a smile in her tone. "Well, I'm going to settle down and have a family. We'll live in a big house…and we'll have some dogs. Oh, and maybe a cat. I've never really had any pets, I want to give it a try."

That sounded just about as good as it could get to me. I dared to ask, "And when you do this, will it be with the man of your dreams?"

"Unless you don't want pets."

That sent a wave of heat through my very core. "Is that to say that I am that man?"

"Oh God, Vincent, you are." Tifa probably didn't intend for her reply to sound as lusty as it did. "You are."

I caught my breath and couldn't help but let my hand run along my exposed length. I closed my eyes, remembering her touch. My left hand reflexively tightened around the radio, causing my talons to clatter against it. I continued my gentle ministrations to myself, and I knew that I couldn't help but give in. My hips lifted up slightly, driving me against my own hand with more force. I knew that my voice betrayed the truth of what I was doing. My mind was completely preoccupied as I relived that morning's escapade between my lover and I. "Tifa…was this morning…what you had hoped?"

Tifa's reply came back, heavily laced with passion. "Yes, Vincent. The way you felt against me-- it was incredible."

A primal growl refused to be suppressed, and I guided my hand along my length, grasping more firmly than I had been. I envisioned Tifa beneath me that morning, writhing in her ecstasy. "The way I felt against you… I love the way you felt beneath me…around me. I loved it, Tifa, almost as much as I love you."

"Vincent…uh, are you..?" she asked, her voice quiet.

I suppose that it was more than obvious with the way I was drawing my breaths, and the manner in which I was speaking. I was unable to lie to her, even at the risk of embarrassing myself. I confessed. "Yes."

She made a pleased sound. "That's all right, I don't mind. What do you want me to say?"

"Oh…" The fact alone that she wasn't put off by the notion of what I was doing to myself was painfully erotic for me. I rolled onto my left side, and began to work at myself faster. I couldn't believe that not only was I doing this while speaking with Tifa, but outdoors at that. In order for me to finish, there was only one thing I needed to hear from her. "Just tell me…how you feel about me…"

Her voice breathless, she replied. "I love you."

That was it. I climaxed and held my breath as I did so. I slowed the motions of my hand upon myself as the sign of my release was spilt to the ground beside me. I was somewhat ashamed in that moment. I was also moderately surprised that Chaos had made absolutely no attempt to come out in any way.

"Vincent?"

I realized that I still hadn't taken a breath and I did so, pushing aside my embarrassment. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Tifa asked, voice tinged with concern.

I had to laugh at myself and the situation, as I got my pants back in order and I rolled onto my back once more. "I'm wonderful, Tifa. I believe that it's time for us to go to sleep."

She giggled, letting me know that it was honestly all right with her. "I know. If we keep talking, I'm going to have to start charging you by the minute."

I smiled to myself. "You shall be repaid when I return, Tifa. You need not worry about that. Keep a running tab if you so desire."

"I just might. I love you, Vincent."

There were those wonderful words again. I knew that I would sleep soundly. "And I love you as well. Goodnight, Tifa."

"Goodnight, Vincent." With that, she fell silent.

I let the radio fall from my left hand, so that it came to rest next to my head on the blanket. I reached over and grabbed my cloak, throwing it over my body. Contented, I soon drifted off.


	8. Chapter 8

Aw, I know everyone's off watching their pirated copies of Advent Children! Who wants to read fan fiction!

Anyway, yeah, sex warning and whatnot. You know the drill.

It's Just Trash

Chapter 8

I roused from my sleep when the sun managed its way through the trees, blazing down upon me. I opened my eyes and stared up at the sky, appreciating that it was clear and cloudless.

Cloudless…

That, naturally, set me to thinking about Tifa and the fact that she was with Cloud on the airship. Yet, as I had said the night before to her, I was fine with the situation. I trusted her. Besides, she had returned to her room to sleep last night, so I had been reassured that all was well.

I tried to turn my head to the side, and felt something there. I moved to see what it was, and found that I had left the radio where it had fallen from my hand, and furthermore, that it was on.

Not only was it on, but apparently, Tifa's was still on as well, for I could hear her drawing in slow breaths on the other end. Contented to have this simple affirmation of her presence, I settled back down, keeping the radio in my hand and to my ear. I closed my eyes and envisioned her sleeping.

A while later, I heard her stirring, and I knew that she'd awoken. I didn't say anything, wishing instead to see if she noticed that she'd left her radio transmitting throughout the night.

I received my answer shortly thereafter. Her voice whispered to me, "Vincent?"

I smiled to myself. "Good morning. Fell asleep with the radio on, too?"

"I did." She giggled.

I sat up. "I've been awake for about an hour now, just listening to you breathe while sleeping."

"I hope I wasn't talking in my sleep," Tifa said back, her voice laced with amusement.

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "You did no such thing. I'm going to get on my way now that I've had the opportunity to speak with you."

"All right." There was something in her reply then, I think it was… disappointment.

"Tifa, I love you," I said, still not used to being able to say such a thing openly.

"I love you, too. Soon, right?" Tifa sounded more upbeat.

"Yes." And with that, I turned off my radio before I found myself unable to quit speaking with her.

Within a few short minutes, I had my things packed and my morning routines carried out. I began to search the area for Tseng's grave marker. We had returned there once before, and I had found it quite by accident. After he'd died in the temple, I had pulled his body outside, but hadn't been given the opportunity to bury him. The Turks, however, had found where I had left him evidently, and they had been up to the task.

What I had found before was a simple wooden plank, driven into the ground, written upon in Reno's atrocious handwriting. It had merely stated Tseng's name, and the date of his death.

I was moderately surprised to find out that Reno was literate at all. Why the Turks had sunk so low in their hiring standards had been a quandary on my mind since being awakened.

In any event, I looked around for probably close to an hour before coming upon the location. My search had been made more difficult by the fact that the makeshift grave marker had been knocked over by someone or something.

I knelt down upon the ground and righted the marker. I reached out with my left hand and tried to bush away some of the leaves that had fallen upon the gravesite. As I did so, however, I couldn't help but notice how firm the ground felt beneath the debris. Perhaps it was just a function of those who'd buried him having compacted the earth well, but part of me doubted this. As I continued to clear away the leaves, I saw that the ground seemed relatively undisturbed beneath.

Now, I was curious. It had only been perhaps a week and a half since Tseng had died, and there was no way that the soil should look this settled yet.

My morbid curiosity got the better of me, and employing my left hand, I began to dig. What I had intended to be a day of fasting and mediation quickly became no more than hours of exhaustive toil as I found myself attempting to exhume my brother using nothing more than the claw that Hojo had fused onto my arm.

The ground was just too damned firm. There was no way that he'd been buried here, but still, I burrowed, in some desperate attempt to find his remains. I needed to know what had become of his body. For some reason, it was important to me-- maybe it was a need for closure.

I became almost manic over it. Tseng had been my last living link to the past. I had to know what had become of him. I dug, and hours passed. I grew hot from my work and shed my cloak and eventually my shirt. Even though I was under the cover of the forest above, with as fair as my complexion was, I knew that I was going to wind up with a sunburn by the day's end, but that was of little concern to me.

All I wanted was to find my damned brother.

By late afternoon, I had managed to go down nearly four feet, and the width of the pit I had scraped out of the earth was considerable, as I had widened the scope of my search.

Finally, I simply accepted the truth. I wasn't going to find him, and that disturbed me to no end. I supposed that perhaps the marker had been put in the wrong location, or some such thing. I didn't have any idea. I sat on the edge of the void I had created and rested my arms upon my knees. I hung my head and looked into the cavity, wondering.

"You know, I figured you were one sick fuck, but this…wow."

I leapt up to my feet and withdrew the sidearm that I had strapped to my hip. I looked down the barrel of my gun, finding myself aiming squarely at Reno's face. My dislike for the man before me welled up, and I found myself having to refrain from pulling the trigger. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he shot back, his eyes narrowing.

"I asked you first."

"Put the fuckin' gun down, Vinny." In a display to show me that he wasn't afraid in the least, he turned his back to me. "You ain't gonna shoot me at this point in the game."

He was either incredibly confident of his understanding of the situation, or he was a complete and utter moron. Time would soon tell. I cocked my gun.

The Turk glanced back over his shoulder at me. "If you were gonna shoot me, you would've already done it."

Point taken, and he was correct. Still, I maintained my aim in the event he attempted any of his usual tricks.

"You wanna know why I'm here?" Reno turned to face me. "I was coming to pay my respects."

"To Tseng?"

"Wow, Vinny! You've been working on your skills to observe the obvious! You must have your Obvious Materia up to Master, huh?"

I literally ached to pull the trigger, yet something prevented me from doing so. There was something about Reno in that moment that I'd never seen before. I opted to see what he had to say.

"Anyway, yeah, I came to sorta pay some kind of tribute to the guy. The world's about to end, and I ain't got anyone I'd really want to spend that time with, since the person I was closest to is dead and gone." Reno walked a few paces away and then sat on a fallen log. He hung his head and sighed heavily.

I watched him, fascinated. This was not the arrogant and cocky young Turk that I'd become familiar with over the past few weeks. This was a man who was profoundly lonely and upset. I never would have thought Reno capable of feeling such things.

After several minutes of silence, he looked up at me, his eyes reddened. "I was just a kid when I began training for the Turks. Tseng was there all along… I never had anyone in my life that stuck around for more than a few weeks. Everyone had always come and gone. Tseng was the only one that seemed like he was always going to be there. Then this shit…" He raised his hand and motioned toward where the Temple had stood. "And, boom, he was gone, too."

This was not at all what I had expected. I lowered my gun finally and placed it back into its holster. The man before me was absolutely no threat.

"My whole fuckin' world is destroyed. I don't give a rat's ass about Meteor anymore." Reno wiped his cheek and looked up at me. "So, what the hell you doin' out here and what in the fuck are you digging for?"

"I was…" I looked down into the pit. "I was trying to find Tseng's body."

Reno shot to his feet and contorted his face into a look of disgust. "That's so fuckin' gross! You're a lucky son of a bitch that he ain't buried there, cause he sure as hell woulda been pretty ripe by now!"

"He's not buried here?" I reached over and pointed at the grave marker. "Then what is that?"

Reno rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's a fuckin' memorial, you retard. Tseng was in the Temple when it collapsed."

"No, he wasn't." I took a few steps closer to him. "I pulled his body out and placed it outside. I thought that you and the other Turks found him and buried him afterward."

"There wasn't nothing to bury, Vinny." Reno shoved his hands into his pockets. "We didn't find nothin'."

I was intrigued. "I wonder…"

The thought that something else had happened to his body cut at me deeply. I wasn't well for the notion that he'd been dragged off and consumed by animals or some such. However, it did me no good to speculate.

"So, why were you lookin' for him?" Reno asked, breaking the silence.

I decided against sharing with him the fact that said man had been my brother. "Curiosity."

"I know I said it before, but you're one sick bastard." Reno offered me his smile. "You and those other AVALANCHE punks are supposed to be savin' the world, and I find you trying to dig up dead Turks in the forest." He tapped the side of his head. "Hojo really did a number on your brain, huh?"

I shook my head and looked away. I wasn't inclined to discuss things further with Reno. I reached down and reclaimed up my shirt, putting it back on. Once that was done, I grabbed my cloak and pack and I began to walk away.

"So that's it? You're just gonna walk away?" Reno called out after me.

I turned back to face him. "As you said, I'm supposed to be saving the world."

"Okay." Reno sat back down on the log he'd been on before. "Good luck with that, then."

I just faced away and started walking once more. There was no reason for me to be here at all. My brother's remains were unaccounted for. I suppose all of us possess that small, illogically hopeful piece within our minds, and I couldn't help but dwell on the false hope that he was alive somehow…somewhere.

He had been dead when I had pulled him out of that building. I knew it, but still, the mind wonders.

The sun had just set when I made my way back to the beach. I found the hovercraft resting there, and Porter was beside it, sitting in front of a small campfire.

The young man looked up at me. "I was wondering if you were going to come back."

"I said I would." I dropped my pack to the sand. "Can we go now?"

"Now?" Porter looked dismayed. "Look, if we take off now, I'm going to fall asleep half way there."

How a boy of his age couldn't stay up until all hours of the night perplexed me. "Surely you can make a five hour trip. We would get back to where I need to be no later than one in the morning."

"That's way too late for me." Porter turned his gaze back to the fire. "Let's go in the morning."

After all that I had subjected Porter to before while I'd made the effort to hijack his vehicle, I decided to relent. We would go in the morning. "Fine."

He seemed pleased with this. "Are you hungry? I've got some things in the cooler in the craft."

I simply began to walk away. I was hungry, but I could go without.

"Where you going?"

"To be alone. I will wake you in the morning and we will go," I said back, continuing on my way.

I went to where the trees met the beach and walked in a short way. Once I found a decent spot, I pulled out my blanket and bedded down. It may have only been eight, but I was exhausted from my futile digging.

Being still disturbed by the whereabouts of my brother's remains, I didn't sleep well at all. I drifted in and out of consciousness. I opened my eyes at one point and realized that it was roughly the same time at night that it had been when I had radioed Tifa the night before. I decided to give it a try. Besides, having the reassurance that she was sleeping in her room would be a welcomed thing.

I pulled out the radio and turned it on. I signaled to her several times, but nothing came back. I thought perhaps that I was just in a bad location for transmitting and as such, I decided to give sending a signal to someone else a try.

Gritting my teeth, I hit the only other frequency number on it that I knew off the top of my head and waited.

"This better be real damn important."

My first compulsion was just to turn off my radio now that I had the validation of it indeed working, yet, I hesitated. "Highwind…"

"What in the hell do you want?" he shot back. "Do you have any idea what I was in the middle of? Any idea at all?"

I closed my eyes, not overly thrilled with how angry he sounded. "I'd rather not dwell on it."

"What's wrong? I know you ain't just makin' a social call." I heard something either thrown or slammed in the background.

"I was just calling to make sure that everything was all right." I sat up.

I could hear him scoff. "I know what you're up to. You're wantin' to see if Tifa's called me at all, right?"

"Has she?" I knew I would never hear the end of it from him once we were all back together for this. More fodder for his derision.

"No, I ain't heard shit, now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to what I was doing, if you don't mind. Shera's gonna run cold if I don't get to it," he said, something like amusement in his tone.

With that, I simply turned off the radio and let if fall to the ground beside my blanket. I did not need the visual that I had just been so generously granted by Cid. One more nightmare for me to suffer, I supposed.

I continued to lie there, trying without success to sleep. I wondered where Tifa was. I knew I could trust her, but the fact she wasn't in her room where she would have heard the radio bothered me. I guess it boiled down to typical, petty fear. I thought I was above such things, but I was incorrect.

When I could stand it no longer, I got up from the ground and packed my belongings once more. I made my way back to the beach to where Porter was sleeping. I nudged him with the side of my boot, causing him to stir and gaze up at me.

"It's time to go now." I said flatly.

"But it's still dark!" He didn't seem pleased.

"It's technically morning." I pulled the keys to the hovercraft from my pocket and dropped them upon his chest. "And that was the deal. Now, get up."

Porter clearly wanted to argue the plan with me, however, I believe that the prospect of my four thousand gil got the better of him. He picked himself up off the ground and grabbed his possessions.

I was already inside the vehicle and strapped in by the time he landed in the driver's seat to my left.

The young man looked over at me. "Back to where you originally pulled your gun on me?"

I just raised my right hand and motioned forward. He already knew the answer, and I wasn't feeling particularly talkative.

He fired up the craft and headed us back north. The movement of the vehicle, along with the roar of the engines slowly lulled me into the sleep that eluded me back at the campsite. I drifted off, and didn't awaken until the ship came to a stop and the engines were cut.

"Hey, you were out the whole trip!" Porter laughed at me. "Catching flies and the whole nine yards."

That was a phrase that I wasn't familiar with. "I was what?"

Porter's green eyes met my own, a smile upon his lips. "Catching flies."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. I'd led a fairly sheltered existence.

"Like this." Porter closed his eyes and let his head fall backward, his mouth hanging open. He began to make a snoring sound.

I know that I don't snore. I may sleep with my mouth open, but I sure as hell know for a fact that I do not snore. "Very nice."

I got up from my seat, grabbed my pack and exited the craft. Sure enough, he'd brought us back to the exact location where I had met him the other day. I looked around, seeing that the sun had just crested the horizon.

"So, about that money?"

I turned to face Porter, seeing that he was standing behind me with his hand extended out. I considered him for a moment, before placing my pack upon the ground and kneeling before it. I dug through its contents until I found my wallet. I pulled out the considerable amount of cash that was within it. I flipped through the bills, seeing that it was actually a little more than four grand. Nonetheless, I held it all up to him. "There."

Porter took the money and counted it quickly. "Whoa, I've never had this much before."

"You earned it." I closed my pack back up and stood again. "Now, goodbye, Porter."

"Bye, Vincent," he said quietly behind me. "You aren't so bad for a thief."

Eager to see Tifa and confirm for myself that she was all right, I made my way as quickly as I could. I made it back to the airship within the hour. As I approached it, the airship began to move. Apparently, I was late. I ran as quickly as I could and managed to grab onto one of the mooring ropes before they got out of my reach. I climbed up easily enough, winding up on the deck of the ship. There was a hatch there that basically acted as a skylight for the bridge below.

I was going to simply drop through and make my presence known, but I hesitated, opting instead to listen for a moment. What I heard didn't help my concern over what Tifa had been doing while I was away.

Nanaki and Cid's voices both carried up to me. They were insinuating that they'd seen something transpire between Cloud and my lover. In my heart, I knew they were just being childish as they tended to be at times, however, I found myself dreading the possibility that there might be something more to it than that.

Tifa's voice then screamed out. "Were you watching?"

With such a statement from her, I didn't know what to think and I jumped down, alighting behind Cloud. I looked over at Tifa momentarily, but looked away, shamed that I was questioning her fidelity. Our relationship wasn't yet old enough for me to be able to completely allay such concerns.

I surprised Cloud by my entrance and he turned back to face me. "Vincent!"

I locked into his blue eyes, unable to suppress the scowl that I wore behind my cloak. I wondered if he was disappointed that I had managed to make it back onto the ship. "Why such a puzzled look? You don't want me to come?"

He moved away from me a small distance. "No, it's just that you're always so cold. I thought you didn't care what was happening."

Seeing as that I figured I had one of the greater needs to see an end to what was transpiring, that almost struck me as humorous. It seemed that those reservations some had held about me refused to be let go. I glanced over at Tifa, before looking once more at the man before me. "Cold? I guess that's just how I am, sorry."

There were other things said beyond that by the AVALANCHE members that surrounded me, but I was fixated on Tifa. She was looking at me, seeming slightly confused. I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms, but still, all that I had heard, combined with the fact I couldn't get in touch with her the night before was doing something rather unpleasant within me.

Tifa finally broke off the stare between us and retreated from the bridge. I lagged behind for a moment, not certain if I should be following her or not. I resolved that there were answers that I needed to get and so I silently left the bridge, in pursuit of Tifa.

Cid began shouting something back on the bridge, but I paid no heed to what he was saying. My eyes were focused on Tifa's back as she made her way, presumably, toward her room.

Unexpectedly, the ship shook violently, and I saw Tifa nearly lose her balance. Fearing that it would happen again, I closed the distance between us, wishing to catch her if she were to fall. Sure enough, the ship bucked and bolted forward and Tifa squealed, careening backward.

I scooped her up into my arms before she hit the floor, preventing her from being injured. I held her close to my body and cradled her.

Her arms came up and entwined around my neck, and I heard her crying as she nuzzled into my shirt. "I…I thought you'd missed the ship."

I continued toward her room, keeping her in my hold. I couldn't bring myself to look at her, as I was still wrestling with my feelings over what may or may not have gone on while I was away. "I said that I would return and that is what I did."

I could see that she looked up at me. "Vincent?"

Since we had reached Tifa's door, I placed her down upon her feet. I forced myself to gaze down into Tifa's eyes, as I awaited her question or explanation.

"Are you mad?" she asked me.

I turned my stare up from her and to her door. I didn't honestly feel like having the ensuing conversation with her in the corridor where it might be overheard. "Let's go inside before we have this discussion."

She opened the door and went in, sitting on her bed. I followed and landed upon the end of Aeris' bed, facing her. I found myself lost in her gaze. I was terrified-- even though I knew better than to doubt Tifa.

Tifa brought out the candy bars and offered one up to me, but presently, I had no appetite, even for chocolate and I gently moved her arm away, refusing.

The color seemed to leave Tifa's face at that point. "Vincent? What's wrong?"

I closed my eyes as I chose my words carefully. The fact that I was possibly risking our newly found relationship by the following question pulled at my heart. I met her gaze once more. "Did anything actually happen between Cloud and yourself, or were they being…juvenile?"

Tifa shook her head, clasping her hands before her chest. "No, Vincent! Nothing happened between Cloud and I, other than we talked."

"Last night, I attempted to radio you again, but you didn't respond." I turned my eyes away from her, not liking myself much in that moment for questioning her at all. "I knew that if you were in your room that you would answer, but you never did. I suppose that I feared that perhaps you and Cloud had done more than work through your friendship issues. Then, when I heard Red of all people…er, things…joking with Cid and Barrett about seeing Cloud and you…"

She laughed that wonderful laugh of hers. "No! I don't know what got into them, but I assure you, it wasn't based on anything that they saw. I didn't come back here last night. Cloud and I were on the ground below the ship. We'd watched the sunset the night before and then I fell asleep. That was it."

I took her answer at face value. To have continued to doubt her would have killed me. "I have no choice but to believe you."

She seemed worried by my reaction. "Vincent! I wouldn't do anything with him! You have to believe me!"

"I do believe you, Tifa." I closed my eyes, the guilt over questioning her paining me. "I'm…I'm just ashamed of myself for allowing my mind to entertain the thought that you might have…done something with Cloud. I feel like I've betrayed you by letting that idea, if even just for a few minutes, linger in my mind."

Tifa moved from her bed and knelt before me, even going so far as to place her hands upon my knees. "Vincent, don't…"

I looked down into her eyes, finding it hard to keep my composure while seeing her there before me like that. I couldn't resist reaching out with my right hand and touching the side of her face. "I must never doubt you."

Her eyes shone up at me with such kindness. "It's a normal human thing to do, Vincent."

And there was the flaw in her reasoning about me. I was not normal, I wasn't even sure if I could be called human anymore. My hand fell away from her. "I'm becoming less human all the time…"

In what had to be an attempt by her to snap me out of my self-loathing, Tifa came up and tackled me, throwing me back upon the mattress. I will admit that it worked. I found myself gazing up at her.

Tifa got to unbuckling my cloak and she smiled. "Vincent, you're more human than anyone I think I know."

I wasn't sure what could compel her to say such a thing about me. Surely it couldn't be true. My train of thought regarding this was quickly derailed as she pushed my cloak away and then kissed me.

I had missed her dearly while I had been gone, and by the fact that I soon felt the dampness of tears from her as our lips continued to play against each other's, I knew that she had missed me, too. I pushed her back a short distance, needing to see her expression. "Tifa?"

"I missed you, Vincent. Cloud wanted us to take off and you weren't back yet and then the airship started moving and I thought…" Her rant trailed off as she looked down at me.

Airship leaving or not, she wouldn't have been rid of me so easily. "I would have followed. I would have kept my word."

"I know, I was just scared, that's all." She seemed a little embarrassed. "And I'm really sorry for not making it back to my room last night. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Think nothing of it. We are here together now. Let's make the most of it. It won't be long until we reach our destination and…" Ah, the belief that I'd held from the outset managed to make its way to the surface of my mind.

"And that will what? I say we go there, get our job done, and then run the hell out of there so we can get on with our lives, okay?" She wasn't willing to let me sink back into the depths of my melancholy.

I forced a smile for her sake and was quickly rewarded with another kiss. She made the first advance and let her tongue cross over to meet mine. I put my arms behind her back, holding her for all I was worth. Tifa's legs draped down onto either side of me and without thinking about it, my body moved against hers as I sought that friction I had found with her previously.

Tifa planted her hands upon my shoulders and pushed herself upward. I hadn't wanted our kiss to end, but since I had the opportunity, I confessed. "Tifa, I missed you, too."

Tifa's hands busied themselves once more and soon, I was not only freed of my cloak, but my hair had been turned loose as well. She tossed the fabric strip over and onto the floor.

I couldn't help it and I produced a genuine smile for her. I wondered exactly how far she intended to go with stripping me. However far she wished to go was more than acceptable to me.

Soon, my shirt was undone, and I felt her hands upon my chest. They trailed down and stopped just above my waist.

Tifa's eyes examined me approvingly. "I still can't believe you're here with me…like this. I never dared to think that I would get much more than a few words from you."

I dared to reach up and place my hands upon her hips as she remained on top of me. She had indeed done far more than get just a few words from me. I was willing to give her far more than words in that moment, too. "Then you underestimated your effect upon me."

As I drove my hips upward, she seemed to be able to feel my present state of arousal. "I'm seeing that I'm having some sort of effect on you now."

I came close to laughing, but kept from doing so, as I didn't wish to ruin the mood that was setting over us. "Indeed you are."

Something changed in her expression, and I realized that our encounter was on the verge of going from sweet to sensual.

Tifa continued to look back at me. "Vincent…"

I felt myself blush as my anticipation and hope of Tifa giving herself to me heated my body to the core. I hoped that her mind was turning to where mine already was.

"I…I want you," she said, color coming to her own skin as she made the simple request.

As if she even needed to ask. I was hers for the taking. I think I gasped as my excitement escalated. "And I you."

I remained as I was on my back, as she reached down and undid my belt buckles and then my pants. I never broke eye contact with her as her hand snaked beneath my boxers and she found the evidence of my arousal. However, she didn't just stop at that. Instead, Tifa pulled my boxers down slightly, so that I was exposed to her. I wondered what she would do next.

She didn't keep me guessing long. Tifa reached down and took a hold of me and used her other hand to reach beneath her skirt, allowing me access to her body.

As I felt Tifa push herself down around me, I closed my eyes and threw my head back into the mattress. I was thankful that she didn't begin moving right away, as I was struggling to keep myself under control.

Tifa then fell forward, so that she was supporting herself with her hands placed upon the bed on the sides of my head. As she did this, I gasped as her body moved around my length. I opened my eyes and looked up at her. I took my right hand and slid it up beneath her shirt. I touched her lightly, still in awe that she would do this with me.

Slowly, she began to move upon me, rocking her hips back and forth. Tifa went cautiously enough as to allow me to keep control of myself. I writhed beneath her as she rode me, reveling in the ecstasy she bestowed upon me.

Even though she was going slowly, I knew that I couldn't hold out forever, and it was clear to me that the way we were together wasn't going to bring her satisfaction. I was not willing to let her go unfulfilled. I firmly grasped her hips, preventing her from moving anymore. "Tifa…you have to stop…"

"Why?"

"You've not…" Had I not already been flushed from the throws of passion, I would have done so. There was also one other thing bothering me about the situation. "I don't want to finish until after you have. Besides…this is Aeris' bed…"

Tifa remained in place, obviously waiting for some sign from me about what to do next. I moved her off of me and then I got up from the bed. I was willing to try something different just for the sake of doing so. My shirt fell from my body and I reached out toward her. Tifa took my hand and I pulled her to me. I pushed my body against hers, until her back was to the wall. I let my lips meet hers again as I dared to reach beneath her skirt and remove her undergarments.

With her freed of them, I scooped her up, supporting her against the wall with my left arm. As it turns out, that arm was actually useful for some things. I was able to hold her up with it easily and without having to worry about tiring. Positioned as she was, I found it easy to drive my way back within her and I got to the task of trying to please her.

I went on forcefully, and she cried out with each of my thrusts, indicating to me that I was doing as she needed me to do. Shortly thereafter, I felt her teeth bite into the side of my neck and she groaned as her body reacted in her climax.

I never would have thought that I would be into anything even slightly masochistic after all of the pain that I had endured in my life, but feeling her bite me like she had sent a shock through my being that appealed to the base, animalistic side of me. Not only did I like it, but I wanted more. "Tifa…do that again…harder…"

Tifa's tongue flicked my neck and then I felt her teeth upon me once more and I growled in my gratitude.

I not only felt a renewed spike in my desire and passion for her, but I felt the unmistakable burn in my back of Chaos' wings coming out. This time, there was no way for me to stop them from emerging. As they came forth and I felt their weight hanging from my back, I stopped my movements, terrified at what Tifa's reaction would be.

She took notice of them and looked into my eyes, her expression concerned.

I awaited her judgement. I inwardly cursed the demon that dwelt within me, fearing that it was about to cost me the woman that I loved. Surely, this was more than Tifa could honestly accept from me. I was a monster, and now she could appreciate it with her own eyes.

Tifa's hands came to the sides of my face. "Vincent? Are you all right?"

I was embarrassed that I hadn't been able to stop my wings from emerging. Yet, I wanted her to at least know that I wasn't going to just transform into some murderous beast. When I changed, I still had the authority over Chaos' actions. "I can control it still. I…can make them go away again…"

She shook her head. "No. Vincent, if this is a part of you, then I accept it."

Out of instinct, I gave one more drive into her body, but I was not able to comprehend how she hadn't just run from me screaming.

Tifa pulled me closer and whispered into my ear, "They…they're kind of sexy, Vincent. I want you to keep going…I want to feel you…"

She was genuinely accepting me and to hear anything about my form referred to as 'sexy' got the better of me. I growled and got back to work, causing Tifa to moan in response. I put my free hand behind her neck and I whispered into her ear, "You want to feel me what?"

Her voice trembling, she gave me an answer. "Come."

I purred in my passion and began to move faster. I was more animal in those moments than man, and I made a request as I felt my climax near. "Tifa…oh God, bite me again, as hard as you can…please…"

She obliged me and damn near broke the skin. The pain mixed with my absolute ecstasy and I was thrown over the edge. I felt my wings move behind my back as I let go. My desire sated, I let my head rest upon her shoulder as I tried to regain my composure. I felt my wings retract and again vanish from view. With them gone, I let her down to the ground and I moved away.

I found myself staring into her eyes. "I told you that I was a freak and a monster."

Tifa gave me the warmest smile. "I love you, Vincent, that means all of you and everything about you."

I zipped up my pants and continued to look into her eyes. "I thought you'd be frightened. It almost happened the last time, but I was able to suppress it."

Tifa came forward and embraced me. "Do whatever you have to, Vincent. Anything that you do is all right with me."

I virtually collapsed against her in my relief. "Tifa…I will never be able to let you know how much you've done for me. I love you."

Her reply came back in little more than a whisper. "I love you, too, Vincent. Everything about you. Everything."


	9. Chapter 9

It's Just Trash

Chapter 9

I'd put back on my shirt and draped my cloak around my shoulders. As I did so, I heard something crinkle within my pocket. This caught my attention and I remembered that I had saved something for Tifa. I pulled out my empty candy wrapper. "I believe this is yours."

Her eyes fixated upon the offered wrapper, absolutely gleaming. Tifa's lips pulled up into that perfect smile as she claimed it from my hand. "I do believe it is."

I then felt a pang of regret for having refused her offering of another when we had first arrived in her quarters. I turned my gaze downward. "I'll take another, if you don't mind."

Tifa did a quick pirouette and picked up the bar that she'd attempted to give to me upon our arrival in her room. "Are you going to have it now?"

I took it from her and stared at it for a moment. Although the idea of having it then was appealing, I flashed with an idea. I knew that up until that point I'd led her to believe that I had no faith in surviving the final fight, and that I had to show her that I did plan on a future. "Perhaps…I shall save it for victory."

Tifa looked pained by something and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Vincent?"

I gazed down at her.

"Twice now…you've sort of sounded like, well, like you don't think you're going to make it through this." She looked unsettled, perhaps even afraid.

My intention in my previous statement had been to curb such a feeling within her. I had failed, apparently. "I apologize if I've given you any such notion."

Tifa broke into tears, despite my efforts to allay her concerns. "I…I don't want to do this…"

My instinct to protect Tifa reared up and I immediately placed my arms around her. I allowed my normal hand to smooth back her hair, and we swayed slowly back and forth. "Tifa, if we do nothing, we all die. If we do this, there is at least a chance. A small chance perhaps, but a chance. Our path is set, it does no good to…"

I stopped speaking. There was an uncomfortable and unfamiliar tightness in my throat. I fought the feeling that was overcoming me, but to no avail. A tear found it's way down my cheek. I wasn't feeling this due to any regard for myself, but rather, the fear of Tifa not surviving cut through me and a chill went down my spine.

She looked up at me, not accustomed, I supposed, to seeing me crack like I nearly had. Tifa wiped the moisture from my face, her expression turning to one of determination. "Let's make it, then."

I gave her a nod and a faint smile, before trying to tell her how much she impressed me. "When I--"

The intercom blared on, and I was cut off, disallowing me to express my respect and gratitude for her. Cid's voice broke the mood that had settled over us. I braced for another barrage of his eloquent tongue. "Wherever in the hell everyone ran of to, get your asses back up on deck. We're there."

She looked disappointed and shrugged. "I guess we better go."

"Yes," I said quietly, before giving into my urge to kiss her. I pressed my body to hers, and Tifa let me past her lips.

Eventually, Tifa stepped back from me and smiled. "Vincent, I love you."

That was all the motivation that I needed to survive the coming fight. "I love you, too. We better go."

Tifa snagged another candy bar from her bed and then took my right hand before we departed the room. I held onto her proudly, and once we reached the deck, I think she was surprised to find that I didn't let go.

Cid glanced at us momentarily and nodded, before claiming his cigarette with his fingers. "All right, let's get this over with."

All of the AVALANCHE members departed the ship and we stood on the brink of the crater. I relinquished my grip upon Tifa and went to the edge to look within. There was a ghostly green mist down in the depths, and the chasm itself seemed to breathe, expunging its noxious breath, engulfing me with a clinging humidity. Out of the mist, I began to see movement. Clamoring up the walls of the void, came a multitude of ungodly creatures. They knew that there were trespassers present, and they seemed to wish to defend their territory.

From one of the beasts came a growling roar. It ended the conversation that had been going on amongst the others, and soon everyone was standing close to me, following my stare downward.

The others once more began to talk about the situation, but I had them tuned out for the moment. I was preoccupied with counting the creatures and assessing the threat. I considered how many monsters I could see, and quickly compared it to the number of loaded clips I had with me. The odds of at least surviving this initial onslaught seemed…reasonable to me.

Tifa moved closer to me, seeking some sort of reassurance, but my mind was elsewhere. Some of the creatures seemed to have armored bodies, but they all possessed exploitable weaknesses, or so I hoped. I finally brought me gaze to bear upon Tifa. "It might be fun to pass the time."

Yet another lupine cry emanated from the crater, indicating that we needed to act soon.

Cloud motioned at Tifa and I. The fact that he would choose to put me on his team seemed…odd, but I knew he was doing it as some sort of gesture. Then again, as we headed down, my gun proved to be the best weapon at hand for dealing with the beasts that assaulted us. Cloud rarely got the opportunity to draw his blade, as the second I spotted a target, I aimed and pulled the trigger, preventing most of our combatants from ever getting more than several yards from us. I had no intention of letting any of those foul abominations get near Tifa.

Then, the attacks abruptly ended and the creatures that had been determined to stop us suddenly seemed more concerned with running from something coming toward us. I strained my eyes into the darkness, seeing what that was long before Cloud and Tifa were able to visualize it. I drew Tifa's attention and motioned ahead of us. "Jenova…"

Cloud heard this and stepped before me. "Jenova? It's coming!"

I'd had the displeasure of seeing images of Jenova's true and whole form back in Hojo's lab ages ago and I recognized her, or rather, it at once. The massive, quasi-amorphic form Jenova possessed was nightmarish.

I didn't spend too long trying to appreciate Jenova's appearance, as I quickly got to the task of trying to fight. I set my weapon on full auto and sent a rain of bullets forth, not knowing what good those relatively small projectiles could do to something as considerable as the entity before us.

Cloud didn't hesitate and ran forward, lashing out with his blade and gashing deeply into the creature's body. He displayed absolutely no fear as he fought in close quarters with the thing, and I will admit that for a rare instance, the boy actually impressed me.

As I would reload, Jenova would attempt to strike out at me with one of her various appendages, but Tifa defended against these blows. As much as I didn't enjoy her being in harm's way, I did appreciate the fact that she was determined to spare me injury.

Finally, it fell to the ground in a heap, spent from the fight and writhing in its death throes. I reloaded my gun and walked up to the creature, finding the unnaturally human face of the entity looking back at me with utter contempt. I raised my gun and placed the muzzle of it between her eyes, before pulling the trigger. The glow that emanated from one of her eyes slowly faded out, confirming to me that I had, indeed, managed a kill shot.

Just as I reholstered my weapon, the ground broke away beneath us. I heard Tifa scream but I was helpless to do anything as I began to plummet downward. Although I knew I would ultimately be able to survive any such fall, I was aware that for Tifa, it was a different matter. Just as I resolved to give in to Chaos and hopefully therein have a chance to perhaps catch her, our descent was halted and we found ourselves hanging in space. I was a little bit above the other two and behind them. I stared down, hearing Tifa groan.

Cloud was close to her and he said something, but I was unable to hear it from my position.

Tifa began to look around, and I wondered if she was looking for me. I wanted to call out to her and let her know that I was there, but my voice failed me. There was an oppressing power in the air, and it kept me silent.

Then, from the depths emerged another creature. It was Sephiroth, and he had used the Jenova within him to take on some monstrous form. My regret for not having acted in the past and preventing this tore through me, but this was not the time to let my past distract me.

Cloud cried something out, I think it was Sephiroth's name, but I never quite knew. The sound of my own heart beat and rushing blood was drowning out most of what I may have otherwise been able to hear. Chaos was just below the surface, waiting for the need to emerge.

I noticed movement off to the side and saw that all of the others had somehow been pulled down to where we were. Even now, they began to talk to one another. I would have preferred for them all to have just shut up and focused on what was about to happen to us, but that was not to be. Here I was, unable to say a single word to reassure Tifa, and yet the incessant banter between Cid and the others carried on.

I found myself annoyed.

I wasn't given the chance to dwell on this long, however, as the force that had been suspending us suddenly gave out, causing us to fall to some of the various stone ledges within the crater.

Tifa landed flat on her stomach, and I dropped down just a short distance behind her, able to control my descent better than the others. I heard her gasp in pain as she tried to get up. I rushed over to her and reached downward, pulling her up and taking her into my arms. I needed to know that she was all right.

Her eyes went wide as she looked at me. "Oh my God! I couldn't see you, and I thought…"

Yes, even my beloved Tifa had the urge to talk while we were under threat. I placed one of the fingers of my left hand against her lips, as my right hand was already pulling my gun forth. "No time, we have to fight."

Tifa smiled and nodded, before spinning and facing our opponent. There seemed to be a determined aura about her, and I knew that she was ready to fight.

Cloud said something else then out to our opponent, but I was looking at Tifa as she stood ready, causing me to miss what had been called out.

However, I was brought back to reality shortly thereafter as Sephiroth began his attack. I began to fire at once, having to be careful in my aim as to not hit my allies as they fought at closer range. Cloud and Cid were both physically upon the creature. I've never quite understood the compulsion to fight with the types of weapons they used. I prefer to keep my distance, if it's all the same to everyone else.

Once more, Tifa appointed herself as my guardian, blocking any attacks that came at me while I was preoccupied with reloading. While I appreciated the gesture, it was making me a nervous wreck. I intrinsically knew that if there was anyone on the Planet capable of taking care of themselves that it was Tifa, but still, my sentiments toward her made me worry.

As such, I kept a watchful eye upon her as we fought and after some time, her exhaustion began to get the better of her. I saw Tifa hang her head for just a moment, but it was long enough for Sephiroth to notice and he struck out with something that resembled a tentacle.

It was coming at Tifa with such force that it actually whistled as it sliced through the air, heading toward her. Knowing that I had a far better chance at surviving such a strike, I raced forward, throwing my body between Tifa and her attacker.

I didn't have a chance to turn and brace for the blow, as my main goal was simply to get in harm's way and spare Tifa. I was struck forcefully in the right side, hard enough to lift me from the ground and send me sailing back until I collided with the rock face.

I was stunned at first, and incapable of moving. I knew from the tension in my chest that at the very least, several of my ribs had been broken and judging from the pain emanating from other parts of my body, that I was injured elsewhere, too.

I heard Tifa cry out my name, but I was unable, for the moment, to respond. I then heard her shout out some expletive that she'd become familiar with courtesy of Cid, and she came to my side.

I had come to rest upon my side, and I felt her hands upon me as she placed me onto my back. That simple movement shot an exquisite pain through me, but the fact that I was looking up at her allowed me to push that aside for the moment, although I still remained temporarily paralyzed.

Tifa framed my face with her hands and leaned close to me. "Vincent? Come on! Please! Vince…"

Chaos was triggered as my body failed to negotiate my wounds. I regained the ability to move, my agony causing me to produce some animalistic sound before I managed to speak. "Tifa…step back…"

Her eyes brimmed with tears. I couldn't believe that she was actually crying for me. "No, you're hurt."

I looked deep into her eyes, needing her to understand. My body would soon no longer be my own. "I know, hence the problem. Get back."

Tifa seemed to realize what was going on, and she reluctantly moved away. I saw her look back repeatedly, as she reassured herself that for the time being, Sephiroth wasn't concerned with us.

Now with her an acceptable distance away, I blocked out my physical pain and forced myself to my knees. I began to shed my clothing, since once Chaos came forth, my outfit would otherwise be destroyed. Inwardly, I was agonizing over the fact that Tifa was about to see me change completely. I had transformed before while in battle, but only when I had been off with Cloud and Cid. I had never wished for Tifa to witness it. I had never wanted her to see what I truly was, but that was no longer my choice. I pulled open my shirt and gazed over at her. "I'm sorry…I didn't want you to ever have to see this…"

She didn't waver in her look back at me. "It's okay, Vincent…"

I was freed of my clothing soon, and I looked away from her, as a new pain began within my body. My bones and muscles began to feel as though they were on fire as they do when I change, and I failed to suppress the cry that welled up in my throat. I was forced to all fours as the sensation strengthened. Then I felt my back rip open as my wings made their appearance, causing me to produce another sound, although my human voice had now gone by the way side. I let my wings come down and enshroud me as the rest of my transformation played itself out. At least, I could shield Tifa from seeing the whole event that way.

The pain then quickly abated, and I knew that I had completed my change into my horrific, demonic form. I saw Tifa staring at me, her mouth slightly agape as I straightened up. I took a few steps toward her, wanting, somehow, to demonstrate to her that even though I looked as though I then did, that I was still the same within. In that moment, I was far more afraid of Tifa's reaction to me than Sephiroth. It's strange how the mind works.

I bent down, as to be eye to eye with her, awaiting her verdict.

Slowly, and with her hand visibly shaking, Tifa reached out and dared to touch the side of my face. She locked into my gaze and did something that no one had ever done while I was in this form. Tifa gave me a smile. "I told you, I accept it all, Vincent. Everything."

Even as I was, I suppose that my relief was obvious. Somehow, her acceptance empowered me and my resolve to rejoin the fight and give it everything that I had was renewed.

I moved to the edge of the ledge and stretched my wings, giving a roar for good measure, before diving off and taking to the air. Now only equipped with talons and fangs, I attacked our opponent. In the form Sephiroth possessed, I quickly came to appreciate the noxious taste and scent of his blood, but I didn't allow it to deter me. I fought there as Chaos, with Cloud and Cid both also upon the beast. All of our ferocity combined eventually won out and Sephiroth began to fall back down within the crater. Cid and Cloud made a hasty dismount and I, too, took my leave, gliding back over to Tifa's side.

Although I kept looking into the chasm, awaiting further confrontation, Tifa had her attention turned to me. I heard her voice, and it sounded…concerned. "Vincent? Are you all right?"

I looked over at her, and nodded slightly. As best I could with the voice I possessed, I replied. "Fine. You?"

She came a little closer. "I'm okay."

I couldn't help but consider her for a moment. She seemed so small in that moment, and the breeze within the cavern toyed with a tendril of her hair that had worked its way loose from her ponytail. I brought up one of my hands and caught that bit of hair as it wavered with one of my talons and placed it back behind her ear.

Tifa again smiled and brought her hand up to touch mine as I failed to remove it from beside her face after arranging her hair. "So far, so good, right?"

I nodded in response, but looked elsewhere quickly, as I sensed a coming threat. Something was flying up from the depths, and from the sound of the wing beats, I knew that it was huge.

There was a flash of brilliant light, and then appeared Sephiroth in his true form. His multiple wings swept through the air, producing an intense down wash of air. How Lucrecia could have possibly given birth to someone that had become this was beyond my comprehension. Within me, there was a pang of regret as I was about to set out to kill what was honestly the only living link back to her.

But, Lucrecia was dead and was no longer my concern.

That was bestowed upon Tifa, now.

I leapt from the ledge and got to doing what had to be done. At least it seemed that Tifa was out of immediate danger during this fight, since Sephiroth was far from her, and so I was able to focus all of my attention upon the task at hand.

Cloud was the first to suffer retaliation as Sephiroth knocked him away and back down to the ledge he had jumped from. As that was happening, I was beginning a dive at Sephiroth, hoping to hit him hard and do some damage, however, it seemed that Sephiroth anticipated what I was up to and he looked over at me.

Since I had gained up a considerable speed in my descent, there was no way that I could change course or stop as I saw him raise his hand.

Exactly what happened immediately afterward I've still never quite remembered. There was a flash and I felt as thought I'd hit a brick wall and been engulfed in a scorching heat. Following that, all I recall is being thrown backward and falling.

I struck something, halting my backward flight, and then I simply fell. I don't have any recollection of hitting the ledge that I ultimately came to rest upon. I was still in Chaos' body when I came around. My wings were beneath my back, and as I attempted to move, I could feel that several of the supporting bones within them had been snapped. It was obvious to me that I needed to regain my human form before I would be able to effect some manner of escape from where I was. I stared upward as I tried to calm myself to the point where I would change back. While looking up, I saw something falling toward me-- directly toward me.

Chaos let go and I felt my body begin to transform quickly. Myself once more, I was able to move and I got up and moved to safety as Sephiroth's bloodied and broken body hit the stone.

I knew that there was nothing about him that was dangerous anymore. His wings had been shattered from the impact, not unlike mine had been a short time before. His still human upper body moved slightly as he attempted to prop himself up with his arms, but he failed and fell flat. His eyes opened one last time and fixed upon me. They narrowed in his consideration of me, and I wondered what he was thinking.

I wondered what he knew about me, if anything.

Then again, he may have been looking at me as he was since I was completely naked. I had no idea.

"It's not over, you know," he said quietly, blood pouring from the corners of his mouth as he produced a wicked smile.

I wasn't certain what he meant by that. He looked to me as though he was about to die. "Is it not?"

"This is just a body." His eyes closed. "I need no body…I can still fight him…"

I just watched silently as his destroyed wings twitched a few times and then his breaths ceased. I didn't attempt to read any meaning into his words. They hadn't been meant for me, anyway.

It may have just been a body, but it was dead.

The ground began to shake beneath me and bits of rock started to cascade down. I examined the rock wall that jutted up before me and knew what I had to do. Simply put, I got to making an ascent.

After a considerable effort, I managed to reach the remnants of the ledge that I had originally occupied with Tifa, but she was not there. My clothes were present, although damaged. I hastily put on my pants and boots, knowing that if anything else, I would at least be covered in a respectable manner. As I reached for my shirt, however, the ledge I was on began to crumble and I heard the voices of the others above me. I managed to grasp my cloak and I somehow attained a handhold upon the wall of the crater. I got my cloak around my shoulders and climbed once more, trying to get to where I could hear the voices of the other AVALANCHE members. Above all else, I tried to listen for Tifa's voice as I went, wishing for nothing more than to have some sign that she had survived.

Yet, I heard nothing.

Then, came a crescendo from above and I craned my neck up, seeing that Cid's airship had fallen into the crater and was heading downward. I wondered if it was going to fall freely downward and knock me from the wall and to my death, but far above, near where the others were amassed, it came to a halt.

"Anyone who wants to fuckin' live better get inside now!" came Cid's voice, uncharacteristically panicked.

I began to climb faster, knowing that I needed to reach the airship as well. When I arrived at the level that it was upon, I found no one around. Apparently, they had all found a way inside. I climbed the hull, hoping that the door up on the open deck of the ship was unlocked. Just as I hoisted my body over the top rail, there was a resonant rumbling within the chasm below and I understood without looking that I needed to find something to hold onto quickly. The only thing resembling cover was an outcropping of ventilation ducts and I headed for them as fast as I could in my exhausted state.


	10. Chapter 10

It's Just Trash

Chapter 10

As I ran toward the ventilation ducts that could offer me some meager protection, the ship suddenly slipped, causing me to lose my footing. I fell flat, my chin striking the steel plating of the deck hard enough for me to immediately taste blood in my mouth. My head swam from the impact, and I had to push past this and start crawling as best I could toward my goal. The angle of the ship's deck was growing more and more precarious, and I dug into the diamond plate with my left hand, scrambling to make it before I fell from the ship and to certain death.

I managed to reach out and grab hold of a pipe emerging from the deck just as the ship finally surrendered its position within the crater, and the craft began to fall freely.

I wrapped my metal hand around that single handhold that I had attained, knowing that my grip with it was far stronger than that of my right. My stomach turned as the sensation of the free fall got to me. The outcropping of ventilation ducts that would have offered me far more protection was just a short distance away, but I knew that any attempt to reach it then would have been fatal.

Then again, I was starting to come under the impression that remaining on the ship until it hit the bottom of the crater was probably also not the sharpest of ideas. I began to contemplate trying to summon up Chaos one more time to allow me to fly off and effect some escape, but that thought I instantly curtailed.

If this ship was going to hit the bottom and Tifa was upon it, then she would die. If that were to be the case, then I had no reason to let go, either.

I closed my eyes and tensed my jaw, just holding on.

The ship's descent abruptly halted and within an instant, we were no longer falling but being pushed upward, and at a greater velocity than we had been plummeting.

Needless to say, the unexpected alteration in forces caused me to lose my grip and I was flung across the deck. I lost my bearings and feared that soon, I would find myself going under the railing and into the unknown.

I didn't, however, as I struck something with such an impact as to drive me from consciousness. Aware or not, I had been thrown toward where I had initially wished to go. I was wedged between the ventilation ducts.

I regained lucidity a short time later when the feeling of being thrust upward once more abated and again the ship began to lose altitude. I reached out with my arms, bracing me in the position I had settled into and opened my eyes. There was a white glow around us, or near us, it was hard to tell. The ship seemed to be rolling as it fell, causing the night sky and the white light below to alternate out of my vision.

If we were going to crash, I couldn't help but wish that we could just get it over and done with. The sickness within my stomach from this uncontrolled flight was getting worse and to be honest with you, if it was death we were facing, then I preferred to meet it before I threw up. I do not intend to be offensive, but I find vomiting to be far worse than most other things.

Then again, the plummet was halted and the ship began to accelerate upward.

I was, by that point, horribly ill and tired of it all. Perhaps getting myself out from my hiding place and letting myself fall away into the night would be better.

Before I gave into those notions, however, the ship's ascent seemed to come under control and I understood that somehow, our pilot had managed to get some form of hold over the situation. Cid had saved us. I was indebted to him, but only if I found out that Tifa was aboard and had weathered everything all right.

Reassured that I was going to live for the immediate future, I closed my eyes and allowed my all encompassing exhaustion wash over me.

Yes, I wanted to go below and be reassured the Tifa was all right, but after what I'd been through, I wouldn't have possessed the strength to take a single step. I knew that I only needed to rest for a short time, and so I did.

"…sorry, Vincent. We saved the Planet, though…and you said that the greater good was what it was all about, right? I'm not as strong as you…I can't just stuff my feelings. Fuck the Planet. All I wanted was…you."

Upon hearing these tearful words spoken, I roused from my temporary state of hibernation and opened my eyes. The night sky was over me, visible between the metal work above me. I heard the sound of Tifa crying and tried to see her, but from my position, she was out of my line of sight.

Silently, I managed to free myself from my hiding place, feeling the cold night air sting the various injuries and lacerations that marred my body. I looked around, spotting Tifa standing at the railing, in the place that I had tended to gravitate toward. She was facing away from me and unaware that I was present.

To see her there, alive and seemingly having escaped serious injury, made me smile. I walked up behind her, lingering there for a few moments, wondering if she would notice me behind her.

However, she was focused upon the candy bar she was holding in her hands before her. "Who cares…the world is just a big mess, anyway."

I saw her toss the candy bar over the railing and I, for whatever reason, stepped forward and darted my left arm out, managing to clasp it before it fell out of reach. I couldn't help but repeat some of the first words that Tifa had ever spoken to me. "Let's not make it a bigger one."

Tifa seemed to be in some manner of shock, and she froze in place, staring forward at where I was retaining my grip upon her discarded item. It may have just been trash to her, but it was far more important to me.

I think it was then that I finally understood.

Her voice was barely a whisper and she stared to tremble. "Oh God…"

I moved closer to her and let my body press against her side and back. I withdrew my arm and put my lips close to her ear. "Tifa, it's all right."

Tifa didn't turn to face me, in fact, she closed her eyes. She seemed to be in disbelief that I was there with her. "Vincent?"

I let my mouth move toward the back of her neck. "Yes?"

She moved and I took a step back. Tifa stared at me, her eyes examining my body with intense scrutiny.

However, the thing foremost on my mind was the candy bar I was holding. You see, the energy that it takes for me to turn into Chaos is considerable, and afterward, I always find myself ravenously hungry as my body tries to replenish its reserves. I needed that candy bar, but I didn't wish to be rude about it. "Are you going to eat this?"

Tifa smiled and laughed a little at me, before launching herself into my arms. She kissed me in her relief and allowed all of her emotions to come out in that moment.

I realized that there was something that was possibly more appealing for me to do than eat that candy bar. I let my mouth stray from hers and I played against her throat.

"Vincent, how did you make it?" Tifa asked, her voice heavy with lust.

Her tone sent a shock through my body and I couldn't help but growl as a powerful state of arousal took me over. I spoke, letting my lips graze her neck between my words. "Chaos lost control of my body after Sephiroth threw me across the crater. I hit a ledge far below where you were, and for a time I couldn't move. Eventually, however, I was able to get the strength to begin climbing. I managed to get up to where we had been, but you were gone. I dressed as best I was able. I saw the ship hanging there, figuring that everyone else had gotten into it. I managed to climb on just before it broke loose and began to fall. How I managed to hang on through what happened afterward, I don't know and eventually, I lost consciousness. I awoke a moment ago when I heard your voice. I was lying over there, between the ventilation ductwork."

Her eyes were brimming with tears. "Oh Vincent…I though you had died!"

"Honestly," I locked into her gaze, "I believe I was supposed to. However, I was fighting for the future, the one you invited me to be a part of. I couldn't let you down."

Tifa gave me a smile. "Vincent… I love you."

Well, that was enough. All thought of my desire for the candy bar I was holding faded instantly. There was another need taking me over, and I let the candy fall from my hand and hit the deck. "And I you, hence why I'm here."

Tifa faced away from me and I placed my arms around her, letting my lips meet the back of her neck. She let go of the tension she'd been holding onto and became pliant against me, as I dared to let my hands run over her body.

Suddenly, she grabbed a hold of my left wrist, drawing my attention. I wondered if perhaps I had unknowingly hurt her with my talons or not, and I looked over her shoulder.

I watched in silent amazement as she brought my hand to her mouth and began to lick the claw upon my index finger, as it had gotten some of the chocolate from the melted candy bar upon it somehow. I became painfully aroused to watch her do this and I placed my right arm around her waist, pulling her against me firmly. Yet, I was aware that she was endangering herself to some degree. "Careful, Tifa…don't get cut…"

She made no reply, seemingly absorbed in what she was doing to me…although I don't think she understood exactly _what_ she was doing to me. Even though my hand was metal, I could feel the heat of her tongue and breath against it as she slowly cleaned the chocolate from me. It was exquisite.

Eventually, Tifa had me cleaned, and she relinquished her grip upon my left hand and rested her head back against my shoulder. "That didn't weird you out, did it?"

I had to laugh at this. I was anything but disturbed with what she'd done. It had been one of the most erotic moments of my life. "I wouldn't say that it 'weirded' me out."

I pressed my body against hers with more force, needing more friction between us. I wanted her more than I ever had. "Tifa?"

"Yes?"

I whispered into her ear. "Did you lock the door when you came up?"

There was amusement in her response. "Yes."

There was a growl in my throat as inappropriate thoughts played through my mind. "Good."

I continued to let my hands move over her body, and Tifa reached forward and grabbed a hold of the deck railing, to steady herself as I maintained my pressure against her. As I came to the realization that I could be with her in the very position in which we were standing, I couldn't restrain my need to ask. I grabbed her hips and held her against me, making the gesture of what I had in mind. "Tifa…can I?"

"Yes."

Even though the door to the deck was locked, I opted to be as discreet as possible with what we were about to do. I gently lifted her skirt up to her hips, and then maneuvered her undergarments down just enough as to grant me access. With that, I let my right hand part her gently, and Tifa bent forward further, inviting me to proceed.

She pushed back against me, producing a pleased sound. "Vincent…"

I placed my left hand upon her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Just start…"

That was all the encouragement that I required. I let my right hand withdraw from her and I undid the waist to my pants, and found my way into her. I caught my breath and leaned against her back, allowing my hands to grab onto the railing before her. With my present state of excitement, I knew that I had to move with caution, lest I lose myself before I had made the experience worth while for Tifa.

The way she was responding to me indicated that she was…pleased with what I was doing. With each of my slow thrusts, Tifa pushed back against me, driving me in as far as possible.

My passion got the better of me and I once more felt myself becoming more of an animal than a man. My mouth met the back of her neck, and I found myself biting her delicately, but Tifa didn't seem to mind. In fact, her moans became outright cries as I went, and she even went so far as to call out my name into the night as I felt her body respond around me in her climax.

I wanted to be with her like this forever, and I forced myself to keep going at the same cautious pace as I had maintained thus far. Forever-- I wanted her forever. I wasn't willing to ever let her go. A question came to my mind, one that I had never anticipated asking ever in my life. "Tifa… Can I ask you something?"

Her head fell back against my shoulder, her eyes still closed. "Anything."

I never ceased working at her, although my actions slowed further as I felt a nervousness well up within me that I'd not before experienced. "Tifa…if we were fighting for a future…and we won…would you be willing to let our futures be just one…permanently?"

Her eyes opened and she strained her neck as to be able to look at me as I remained behind her. "Vincent, what are you asking?"

The fact that she didn't understand immediately scared me. Perhaps she thought it a ridiculous concept. After all, we had only known one another for a little over three weeks. What right did I have to ask her such a thing already? "If you would consider…"

No, I couldn't bring myself to say it. I admonished myself for even having broached the subject and I quit moving completely.

She met my gaze, her eyes lighting up with some previously unknown spark. "Vincent, if you want me to marry you, I will."

I couldn't believe that she'd agreed.

Tifa had _agreed_!

"Honestly?" I awaited the punch line. Surely this wasn't going to actually happen. I forgot the compromising position that I still maintained within her body.

"Vincent, I wouldn't lie to you. I would love for our futures to be…just one." She covered my right hand upon the railing with her own.

Relieved and energized with her response, I closed my eyes, remembering the task at hand. I let my emotions get the better of me and I began to move once more, seeking my own end. I resumed my gentle bites upon her neck. Since she couldn't see, I didn't care to suppress the tears of happiness that ran down my face.

When I finally attained my own satisfaction, I couldn't quell the cry that burned in my throat. That done, I let go of the railing and placed my arms around her waist, holding Tifa to me.

Her head lulled back to my shoulder. "Vincent, I love you."

"I love you, Tifa."

We remained as we were for some time, until I felt her shiver in the cold night air. I reluctantly let go of her and got my clothes back in order, and she did the same. I looked over at her, a smile lingering upon my lips as I buckled my cloak. "Perhaps we should go within and let the others know that I survived."

I didn't make this statement because I believed that anyone on the ship other than Tifa honestly cared, but it seemed as good an excuse as any for us to get out of the cold.

"Yeah, I think they'll be glad to know you're alive."

I produced a strained laugh at this idea. "I'm compelled to believe that they might be disappointed."

Tifa took my hand and looked into my eyes. "Actually, Vincent, when they realized that you hadn't made it back to the airship, everyone was silent and Cid and Cloud…well, they cared. They honestly did."

I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps they had just all put on a good show for her. "Then, let's go."

We walked hand in hand toward the bridge. Upon arriving there, everyone spun to face us.

The pilot knit his brow and came over. "Where the fuck did you come from?"

I couldn't help but feel…a little cocky in light of what had just happened between Tifa and I. I made an uncharacteristic stab at humor. "Originally, Wutai."

Cid didn't look particularly amused and he folded his arms over his chest. "I'm gonna pretend that you didn't just try to make a joke."

Well, it had been a bit of a weak effort on my part, honestly. Cid preferred straight answers and I opted to give him one. "I managed to jump onto the ship and I held on for dear life."

"Shit man, you scared the hell out of Tifa." Cid came closer. "She thought you were dead."

I wondered if perhaps Cid was nearing me in order to strike me for having upset Tifa. It wouldn't have been out of his nature, and I backed away. "Frightening her is my greatest regret about the situation."

He shook his head and moved toward me once more, this time reaching out and taking a hold of me before I could escape. I couldn't believe it-- Cid was actually embracing me. "I'm glad you made it, Sunshine."

I made perhaps the most awkward smile of my life as he stepped back from me. "Thank you, Cid."

Cloud had come over as well. "Vincent…you're okay?"

I figured it was obvious enough. "I seem to be."

He smiled at Tifa for a second. "That's good."

I pushed aside the remaining fear that I'd possessed about making a display of our status as a couple before the others and put my right arm around Tifa's shoulders, holding her close, and her arm snaked around my waist in response. I know I had surprised her by doing this, but I knew that she was pleased with it.

And it was just as well, for I never planned on letting her go.

The End

A/N- Well, that was fun. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! Kristen


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